Hello everyone,Could anyone rate my essay? Can't really rate it myself,any feedback appreciated.
Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?
My home country, Georgia, is still a developing state. It suffered under the Soviet regime for over 70 years and experienced brain drain in the early 80s upon civil war. In other words, it calls for a knowledgeable and open-minded generation to contribute to further development and battle poverty.UGRAD is a program that will fully aid me in becoming the said member of this generation. The idea and experience exchange between diverse students will provide me with maximum potential in further improving my viewpoint about various countries' economies, education, social systems. By participating in this program, I acknowledge the hardships of being a leader, but I am completely prepared to give it my maximum and try to become a chair dedicated to progressively improving my country.
My first leadership experience occurred during SOPHIX Erudition club summer camp, when I was the leading presenter, discussing various topics to quite a substantial audience. During this time period, I was prepared to start developing main leadership key points such as but not limited to: Confidence,Organisation,Public speaking,Group Management and more,but the genuine professional experiences that I was able to gather throughout the year were on the UN simulation events.In the course of events I was able to meet tons of diverse people and forge many international connections.
Initially being as a delegate,I struggled for the first place,with tons of effort and through everyone's help achieving it became a reality.After the first success, I was invited on the second event,which occurred in 2018,seaside city of Batumi.There I had the honor to be a real coach who supported delegates in various aspects of resolution writing,overcoming shyness,adapting to a competitive atmosphere and more.I had to choose the best team,resolution and the 3 awards(Best,Distinguished,Honorable).With these international events I was able to develop starting leadership abilities which I want to improve by participating in UGRAD.
Communicating with other students will be a huge opportunity to further establish international relations,not only that but the knowledge USA colleges will offer me in my IT field will be crucial for my future academic work and for the first ever large-scale project,aimed at improving Georgia's Education Department.Edu-Tech will have an additional classwork format,which will be essential for some school children, as everyone doesn't properly understand the materials which are provided by the educating institution.This will benefit students of all ages as it will include not only the actual institution materials but also additional spheres of academic work.As of present, this is but a starting idea that needs shape and perfection,but with my current programming skills along with the ones I will bring back to my country shifting it into a reality will not be just a dream.
With current communication skills and experience,I think it will be manageable for me to adapt with participants and inform others about customs,traditions and activities associated with Georgia.From the listed events and experience with the international viewpoint of Georgia,I will truthfully explain and shatter any stereotypes associated with the culture and show the real side and values of the society.Not only that,but the information and contacts I will bring back to my country will play a massive part in my further academic work.This is why I think that if I get selected as a candidate, the cultural exchange during the UGRAD program will be beneficial for both parties.
To conclude my statement, I believe my experiences in community service, my potential leadership ability, and my motivation will make me a promising candidate for UGRAD.It will get me closer to my ultimate goal,which is to join the UN and finally start making a substantial difference in Georgia's internal and external problems.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447
You are showing your leadership abilities as a team member. You speak of your training and development, but not of how you leadership skills have helped your community, which is the focal point of the leadership discussion. I have not seen any evidence that you have made any marked contributions to the community that you wish to be a part of in a more involved status after the semester abroad.
You have misunderstood the prompt requirement. The committee will consider the candidates who show a potential to be future leaders in both the private and government sectors of their country. This can be assessed by your community involvement and participation in notable community organizations within a leadership capacity. Though your intentions are clear and honest, there is no reference to any leadership within a community activity that resulted in something positive. That, is the main subject that you have to highlight in this discussion. You need to focus on your ability to see a problem, consider the solution, and work towards achieving that solution in reality.