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From Ukraine to Ghana; Richmond University Supplement


fwan17 3 / 11 1  
Dec 18, 2012   #1
Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you?

Big Changes

My family made the move from Russia to Ghana in early 2003. My dad, who is Ghanaian, came back a few months earlier, to find a job and settle. Obviously, it was a huge change for us, who had never been to Africa, and, as expected, we faced numerous challenges, most of them having something to do with adapting to a new culture, a new diet, a new environment, a new climate, etc.

However, what really made me feel like a fish out of water was the language barrier. It was a little better for my mom, who could carry on her end of the conversation until people started using complex words like 'obvious,' but for me, it was horrible. The most complex English sentence my 7 year old self could construct was 'The cat is walking.'

Consequently, I became isolated from everyone around me, except my family and the family we stayed with for the first 4-5 months in Accra, but even that was because they'd lived in Russia before. My situation was so bad I couldn't even go to school for half a year, since I wouldn't have understood anything anyone said to me anyway. We had English teachers in Russia, and we even got a private teacher for the last 3 months, but what I learned was so basic, and the difference in the dialect of the locals and my teachers so great that it really didn't help at all.

I began to learn English through my Russian textbooks. We had textbooks for class 1 through 4, and I spent many hours learning through them with my mom. However, I found, as most people do, that learning a language from textbooks isn't really helpful, especially when those textbooks focus on theory. I learnt and learnt, but only improved ever so slightly.

Having basically nothing to do except for learning and going to the beach, I started reading storybooks. We had brought a few of them over from Russia, and I decided to put them to use. Soon, I was done with all of them, and was asking for more. So, we went out, and bought some books in English, which I also read. I started to enjoy reading English books. And then, I suddenly noticed that my English was becoming better. As I read more and more storybooks, and familiarized myself with the ways of the English Language, I began to incorporate this into my speech, and pretty soon, I was speaking English better than my mom.

By the time I was in fourth grade, I was reading books, which my mom read in weeks with a dictionary in hand, in just a few days. My English had become good enough for me to go to school and socialize normally with the other kids. In fact, I was getting so good that I could even recognize mistakes that adults made, and I was outscoring most of the students in my class, even though I was always one of the youngest people there. In class 8, I was even nominated for the Spelling Zee, in which I placed 6th in the Northern Region, just one spot away from the Nationals.

Looking back at all this, I am grateful for having gone through this experience. I think that it has helped me grow as a person, and gain confidence in my ability to adapt to different situations. However, what I treasure most about this, is that it helped me develop my hobby of reading, and consequently, writing. I can't even begin to imagine how many hours I've spent reading storybooks over the last few years. I enjoy losing myself in the different worlds presented to me by the books' authors, and I have developed a passion for trying to create my own fantasy world, which may someday captivate other readers, in the same way that the worlds I read about captivated me.

Hi guys, I need some feedback on this essay. Any feedback at all (even one word) will be appreciated, thank you.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Dec 18, 2012   #2
Obviously, it was a huge change for us, who had never been to Africa, and, as expected, we faced numerous challenges, most of them having something to do with adapting to a new culture, a new diet, a new environment, a new climate, etc.

This sentence is too long. You could shorten it or turn it into 2 shorter, more concise sentences.

We had English teachers in Russia, and we even got a private teacher for the last 3 months, but what I learned was so basic, and the difference in the dialect of the locals and my teachers so great that it really didn't help at all.

Another too-long sentence. Here is a better way to say this:
"In Russia, we had English lessons in school and I also had a private teacher for the 3 months prior to moving. However, the English that I learned was so basic that I could not communicate well with the locals, who had their own dialect."

I began to learn English through my Russian textbooks. We had textbooks for class 1 through 4, and I spent many hours learning through them with my mom. However, I found, as most people do, that learning a language from textbooks isn't really helpful, especially when those textbooks focus on theory. I learnt and learnt, but only improved ever so slightly.

Is there anyway that you can make this part of your paper more interesting?

By the time I was in fourth grade, I was reading books, which my mom read in weeks with a dictionary in hand, in just a few days.

Or, you could say it like this: "By the time I entered fourth grade, I could read books with ease. I read faster than my mom, who would take weeks to read a book while using a dictionary to help."
OP fwan17 3 / 11 1  
Dec 18, 2012   #3
Thanks a lot! I'll rewrite it with your suggestions. How about the content of the essay? Do you think it's good enough?
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Dec 18, 2012   #4
Yes, you answered the prompt question well, and your unique story is very interesting. You have lots of good content and I love your topic. Nice job :)
OP fwan17 3 / 11 1  
Dec 18, 2012   #5
Thank you :)


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