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Ultima Thule ; Common App Essay - Significant Experience


OrcadianDander 3 / 9 3  
Jan 8, 2013   #1
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Ultima Thule

115 foot high, rewarded, above the ocean, above the land, I stood fearless, gazing down from the
top of a ship's mast upon my homeland -the Orkney Isles; a constellation of islands dwarfed by the
North Atlantic Ocean, a microcosm of the world. Immersed in triumph, I was weightless, overjoyed.
At that moment the desire for such a feeling established itself as part of me.

I recall fear's heavy embrace as I anxiously made the assent. The rope ladder trembled in my frozen
hands, my knuckles frosted white. Danger grew taller with every step. I was utterly terrified. As my
nerve shattered the plummet to the unforgiving deck below became increasingly probable. My
emotionless face like a barrier, a fortress of thoughts infected with fear. However, as if numb to such
dismay, a passion to overcome this burden suddenly became prominent. I admirably glanced up
towards the summit and visualized myself standing there, at the very top, above all. This revitalizing
mental image sparked a burning determination; I kept climbing until I stood there, victorious,
weightless, above the ocean, above the land, dwelling in my success. Acrophobia lay defeated, 115
foot down on the deck below.

Ever since the day I overcame my fear of heights, my desire for reward has intensified. As I am
always seeking greater success, naturally the tasks themselves which grant such reward have
become larger. Utilizing prize as my source of motivation, I use creative visualization to propel
myself higher.

I believe I am currently facing the greatest task available to me -applying to dauntingly competitive
higher education facilities on the other side of the world. People from my home, most of who,
understandably, have never even heard of any of the places I aspire to be next fall, ask me with utter
bewilderment,

"Why do you want to do this? Why on earth do you want to leave?"

It is by no means ludicrous to question why I would leave such a location. My home is a truly
admirable place; the soft ululating countryside merges with the sky and sea into a confluence of
nature. The Orkney Isles are an isolated collection of approximately 70 minute islands off the North
Coast of Scotland -only 20 of which are inhabited by our population of 20,000. Rich with history, the
isles transmit a sense of time's immensity. First referred to in writing by the Greek explorer Pytheas
around 225 BC, he proclaimed that he had sighted Ultima Thule -the edge of the world, a distant
place far beyond the borders of known civilization.

Coming from such a confined community, I take pride in my broad perception of the world and strive
to rise above the widespread accustomed acceptance of normality, whilst nevertheless retaining a
humble respect for my home. For me, this is the tallest mast I could find. This is the most challenging
circumstance within my current reach -ultimately bearing the greatest personal reward that I can
aspire to.
futureslp 1 / 1 1  
Jan 8, 2013   #2
This looks good, I enjoyed reading it.
So far my only comment is in regards to the very first sentence. Perhaps you can start with "Nearly 115 ft high...", just to avoid starting with a number and with a capital letter instead. Another though is to write out the number "One hundred..."


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