The ultimate American dream; perfect candidate for FIT?

What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments

The ultimate American dream, is a dream that every American hopes for and, desires. This dream traditionally includes , having a successful career , building and supporting a family , being able to afford a home and also, the luxury of having a car. On the other hand, my personal "idea" of the American dream is slightly different.

My dream is to be on top, to push the envelope, to go above and beyond and, to not let anyone or anything stop me. My idea of success is becoming part of the fashion industry and to become a successful retail buyer. Part of my dream is being able to finally buy those red sole Christian Loubitons, or the Celine tri fold tote that everyone wants to get their hands on. Fashion is not my life it is apart of my well being. It is in my soul. I try my best to look the part and of course , be the part. The Fashion industry is not all about the glitz and glamour, it is also about hard work and dedication. I feel that I have that drive to be able to be apart of such an inspiring community.

To achieve your goals and finally reach your dreams , you need the right tools. I feel that I'm a perfect candidate for FIT because, FIT is my key tool to help me reach success. This is a school that makes dreams into a reality. I feel that I will benefit best from being educated at FIT. Also, it is located in one of the ideal fashion capitols of the world, NYC. What's better then that? Luckily for me, I got to experience a little taste of FIT, which was so eye opening and that I will never forget. For a long time I new what industry I wanted to work in (fashion). But at the time, I wasn't quite sure which job title I wanted to pursue.

The summer of 2011, I was entering my sophomore year of high school and at the time I was 15 years old. I came across FIT's summer programs for high school students and thought; wow this could be a great opportunity for me. I looked through the many different classes they offered and found one that was titled "The Ins and Outs of Fashion Merchandising". The class caught my eye and I said to myself , "This could be the beginning of pursuing my dream". I immediately signed up for the class and went to orientation. During orientation I was literally getting the chills. Walking through FIT's halls knowing that past students , such as notable alumni Calvin Klein and , Nina Garcia walked through these same halls.

The morning of the first class came and I headed out of my middle class Staten island home, and went off to the city of dreams. On my own, being 15 years old going to NYC gave me a great amount of independence. Another reason why FIT is the perfect school for me because the whole experience gave me much courage and independence in myself that I've never had before. During these high school summer live classes, they really opened me up and helped myself find what I was truly interested in. Students in my class were from all over the world. To meet new people that were passionate about the same thing you are, was amazing. To this day I am still in contact with several students I took the class with. I had an inspiring mentor, Professor Piazza. What I loved about her was that , she would tell us about her own real life experiences in the fashion industry as being a buyer at JC Penny. She told the class many stories about her career and it truly inspired me. During the class we made projects and went on class trips. From trend forecasting to visiting fur manufacturers, I loved every minute of it.

From that one class I gained much knowledge about the school itself and how the business side of the fashion industry works. The reason why I would like to major in Fashion Merchandising is because; I feel that having this degree will benefit me in the long run and help achieve my dream of becoming a retail buyer. Also it will increase my knowledge of the business side of fashion. This includes strengthening my skills from , analyzing sales to trend forecasting.

In my free time I'm constantly looking up the latest trends , trying to update my own wardrobe and also help others. Ever since I was a little girl I would dress up in my grandmothers clothes and model her gorgeous bags. I see myself as a New York City girl and hope to go to my dream school. FIT is my number one school and I would be nothing but honored to be able to attend and be apart of great creative, inspiring community.

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The admissions officer is an American. He or she knows what it means by the American Dream. Get to the point you are trying to make: 'You have your own personal take on the American Dream'

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How is this different from the American Dream? Both yours and the conventional ultimately boils down to hustle, hustle, and more hustle.

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Good, you provide specific examples that support your passion for fashion. Beware of the risk of coming across as a materialistic, shallow person, however.

4.


Excellent! This is your thesis statement. Consider putting this right at the beginning. You must foreground this unique point you are trying to make. Putting this in front also offsets any materialistic negative connotations with your image.

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Too informal for essays. Superfluous fluff.

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Excellent! Good stuff.

Overall comments:

Good job! Iron out these wrinkles in your essays and you're good to go!

Okay ,Thank you so much !! I appreciate it