UMCP: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." Essay

I could barely breathe. My lungs were on fire. The trees whispered above my head as my dad screamed encouragements from the distance. Biking was introduced to me by my dad. Shrieks of laughter filled the air around the banks of the Bagmati River as we pedaled along. Little kids leaped to the warm river for their leisure. I stopped. Looked at my dad for his approval, and sprinted towards the river and dived in with the kids. People walking about looked at me in shock: "How can a Brahmin go interact with the people from the lower class?" I did not care.

As we swerved through the unpaved streets of Nepal, my dad and I stopped at a temple to pay respect to our Gods. As we strolled in, the aromatic smell of candles filled my nostrils, a constant reminder of the mornings I helped my mother with the house prayers. My parents are religiously active and they greatly influenced my beliefs from an early age. After reading the sacred book known as the Vedas, its mantras about equality and the concept of oneness influenced me greatly. This changed my perspective on the world and the people around me. I started becoming more forgiving and nice towards strangers. 'Never judge a book by its cover'. I took on this concept and have never looked back.

Being born in Nepal as part of the highest class, I had much pressure to be respectful towards other Brahmins. However, I realized that no matter what caste system one is from, they are still people and we should all treat them the same way. My culture and religion have taught me to be respectful to people unlike the superstition. I never would have learned it otherwise.

Hi :) Your essay sound great to me. I can pick out a few things that you may want to change.

The trees whispered above my head, as my dad screamed with encouragement from the distance.

Biking was introduced to me by my dad.
You may want to say this: "My Dad taught me how to use a bicycle."

As we pedaled along, s hrieks of laughter filled the air around the banks of the Bagmati River.as we pedaled along.
Little kids leaped into the warm river for their leisure. I stopped and l ooked at my dad for his approval.andI quickly sprinted towards the river and dove in with the kids.

As we swervedWhile swerving through the unpaved streets of Nepal, my dad and I stopped at a temple to pay respect to our Gods.

Thank you! I will correct those mistakes.. thanks again! :)