Prompt: College of Literature, Science, and the Arts (LSA): What led you to choose the area(s) of academic interest that you have listed in your application to the University of Michigan? If you are undecided, what areas are you most interested in, and why?
I was ten. Bored, I decided to lay on the mahogany chair in my dining room. My head hung over the side of the chair, and my eyes peered straight through the grilles of the window.
I never viewed the world this way before. It was as though I looking down on the Pacific Ocean from space, mesmerized by the patches of blue and white of the atmosphere. At that moment, I was immersed in the sight before me - just Mother Nature and I. My passion for the environment began there and then.
My interest grew as I traveled to places rich in geography, like Australia. I love the peacefulness that nature offers me, the moments when I can let loose and gaze at the picturesque surroundings. Nature gives me time to engage in self-reflection, time that would otherwise slip away in a hectic modern era.
Geography made me a unique visitor. As I stared at the waves crashing against the limestone of the Twelve Apostles, I was awed at how nature painstakingly crafted such landscapes. I thought about what I had learnt during my Geography lessons and how it had come alive, knowledge that visitors may not grasp just by reading snippets of information on signboards. I was not concerned with snapping as many pictures as possible, but with taking in the view while appreciating the geological history of this feature.
I am eighteen, and my attachment to the environment has only grown stronger over time. I have developed a bond with Mother Nature, and will continue to maintain it as I pursue a major in the environment at Michigan.
Some minor mistakes, I think...
I was ten then.
It was as though I was looking down on the Pacific Ocean from space
I was immersed in the sight in front of myself
I am now eighteen, and my attachment to the environment has only grown even stronger over time.
I pursue a major in theEnvironment at Michigan
Hope I can help. (:
I think that you should shorten your first 2 paras. This is a short essay, I think you should focus on the main points, not the intro. I also feel that the field of environment include more aspects like chemistry and current environmental problems and solutions, not the beauty of nature only.
only my opinions~~hope they help:)
I was ten. Bored, I decided to lay on the mahogany chair in my dining room. My head hung over the side of the chair, and my eyes peered straight through the grilles of the window.
I had never viewed the world this way before. It was as though I was looking down on the Pacific Ocean from space, mesmerized by the patches of blue and white of the atmosphere.
Geography made me a unique visitor. As I stared at the waves crashing against the limestone of the Twelve Apostles, I was awed at how nature painstakingly crafted such landscapes. I thought about what I had learned during my Geography lessons and how it had come alive, knowledge that visitors may not grasp the full effect just by reading snippets of information on signboards.
I like your essay, it ties in nicely at the end when you are 18. I think though, that you should go online and check out a few interesting things about the schools environmental studies, and then mention what you like about them in yur essay.
Good luck!
:)
Besides the corrections that Kevin and AmyRemus made I don't think there was much to change...
Great job!
and Good Luck!
