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Umich Transfer Essay, Community Essay Prompt (ADHD is beautiful)


aprilmelody93 1 / -  
Jan 30, 2013   #1
Hello guys, this is the transfer essay to the Uni of Michigan. I hope to stand out from the pool of essays that the admissions officer will be receiving, so any advice? Also, my grammar may not be the best, please point out any errors that I have! Oh, and my essay is at 279 words, that's okay, right?

I love you and I have no idea how to repay you, so here. Accept this smiley as a token of gratitude. :)

PROMPT: Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

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As far as communities go I belong to a very unique one, one where only 7 other percent of the world population shares. Although not the least bit inferior to anyone else, it still seems that most other people perceive us negatively. As such, I feel obligated to stand up for my tiny, little community. I want people to to see how we think and function as a whole before judging us. To do that, they have to go beyond skin deep.

Literally.

In the August of 1999, my parents confirmed their worst fears - I had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Thankfully though, I only had a mild form of it and mental exercises were all I needed. These exercises were designed to curb my hyperactivity both physically and mentally. They would make me organized. They would make me normal.

They would make me...not me.

Young as I was back then, I was immensely aware of how my brain worked - and I liked it. Although my thoughts were frustratingly disorganized, tremendously abstract and awfully fleeting, they brought along with them something that the other 93% of the world did not have. Intertwined with these so called 'negative' traits, also came the extreme gift of imagination, knack for creativity and flair for originality.

And it was exactly how I - how we -- wanted it.

Today, people no longer discriminate based on color, so why not further extend that decency to people of different brain patterns? Without ADHD, Disneyland, the chewing gum, heck even the 'Marriage of Figaro' would have never been born. Diversity is what we need, and although we may be different, we still are, in every way, the same.

THANK YOU
htn2013 3 / 2  
Jan 30, 2013   #2
I really like this essay. Answered the prompt really well. Im writing the same one!
admission2012 - / 477 90  
Jan 30, 2013   #3
Hello,

I think this is a good essay that will be different from most, so you will stand out. However, you should know that 7% of the World's population is not a "tiny" community. You should remove that as it makes you seem slightly naive.

Hope this helps.


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