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UNC business school essay about a AP physics group project


pintianz 7 / 15  
Jul 4, 2012   #1
- Please prepare and upload an up to 500-word (max) essay that addresses ONE of the following:

A. With so many conflicting priorities, it can be challenging to motivate a team to complete projects. Tell us about a time when you were successful at achieving results even though you were part of a volunteer or work team that was difficult to motivate. How will the strengths you relied on to overcome this challenge enable you to contribute to the next undergraduate business class, and what do you hope to gain personally and professionally by being a part of this program?

OR

B. The UNC Kenan Flagler Business School attracts students who have drive, energy, and a record of achievement. Provide a recent example of a leadership challenge you faced and how you were able to overcome the challenge to achieve your desired results. What did you learn about your personal strengths and how will these strengths enable you to contribute to the next undergraduate business class? Drawing on your experience, what do you hope to gain personally and professionally by being a part of this program?

I have wrote an essay (its still a very very rough draft). It is about a AP physics group project where we build a catapult. The teacher gave a alot of freedom in the design so I suggested we build a more unique catapult that has better functionalities. However the group were lazy and just want to settle on a general design. I then motivate and lead the group to do the unique design.

my concern is that I originally intend to write about the leadership aspect (topic B) of the event but the event itself falls more into the motivation topic (topic A).

Do you guys think it'll be bad if my essay talk about both aspect (how being a leader involves motivating members)? The 2 prompt are so similar!!! Should I strictly change my wording so that it fits only 1 topic?? Please reply thanx in advance!!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 5, 2012   #2
Well, they are not so similar... The first one talks about a situation in which you took the lead in motivating your team towards success. Here you display the leadership qualities of a team leader. For example, how you acted as a catalyst, guide, mentor, effective communicator and how you inspired others into action etc.

In the second prompt deals more with your personal strengths that make you a natural leader. For example, your visionary thinking, decision making ability, analytical and planning skills etc.
OP pintianz 7 / 15  
Jul 5, 2012   #3
Ok, I went with the first prompt. I wrote my draft and I need some help:

Its often difficult to motivate a group to aim beyond the expectation and go for that extra mile. Its one of human's inborn nature to avoid working too hard and settle for the mediocre. (I'm having trouble finishing this intro. I want to emphasize on the important of motivating teamate in acheiving success but don't know how to word it)

During an AP Physics group project, I have successfully motivated my group to go above and beyond. The project involves each group to build from scratch a device that would catapult tennis balls and then use it in a war game against other teams.

When the project was first given out, our instructor intentionally left little restrictions in the design in order to encourage creative ideas. During our initial group conference, I suggested that we try a handheld design that uses a mechanics of a combination of a crossbow and cannonI feel this part looks wrong gramatically and repetitive . However, my group reluctant to accept the idea because they though the design and construction would require too much effort and decided to just borrow a common catapult design from the internet.

The group's lethargic attitude did not weaken my can't think of a right word here . I knew that if we were to use my idea, I would have to somehow bring up their interest in the design that will motivate them through the extra work involved can someone help me word this sentense better? . Thus, I worked over night and brought to the group next day a draft design of the device. With the new visual, I explained how the construction is completely feasible with the knowledge and skill we currently posse and the finished product will give us an edge on accuracy and flexibility in the game. After seeing the draft and listening to my explanation, my teammates begin to let go of their indolent mindset and even feel excited about the project.

With the new shift in group attitude, we then begin to tackle this project. The construction process was not smooth sailing but I managed to keep the group focused and motivated against the problems along the way. The final product was crowned the most innovative catapult and helped our group score many kills on the battlefield.

I believe that my personal strength in motivating group to strife beyond expectation will contribute greatly to the undergraduate business class. I will actively participate and use my motivating abilityCan someone help me reword this? can't think of another way to say this in student groups both in and outside of class. Through motivating classmates to achieve higher, I will stimulate greater group achievements and help enhance the excelling atmosphere in the business school.

As a student of the undergraduate business program, I hope to enhance my communication skill and establish strong interpersonal relationships with the students and staff of the school. I believe good communication skill and social connection are two vital components for success in the business field. Professionally, I hope to gain knowledge in how everyday business operations are carried out and acquire skills in management and organizational behavior.

And lastly I'm having trouble writing the conclusion, I'm thinking of just a 1 sentence conclusion but I don't know what to say.

Also if you see anything wrong or unfit please point them out for me. Any help is greatly appreciated, thanx in advance!!
joshuanderitu01 2 / 41  
Jul 15, 2012   #4
First paragraph ,you can add up this to end the point that you make with a satisfaction to the reader:
For this one time ,i had something to prove about my leadership skill, and i ended up successful in my ideas
and ,to end up reaching to my desired results
.
joshuanderitu01 2 / 41  
Jul 15, 2012   #5
You say in third paragraph that your words look repetitive, but i find that you have a suggestion
of ideas starting to show that you are doing well with practicing your skills and making a new plan,
even though fourth paragraph:you can add up these words the group's lethargic attitude did not weaken your ability to motivate others with your skill

of ideas not only to plan for others, but also to act as their leader in creativity
.
still on the fourth paragraph:Add
that will motivate them through the extra work involved in the project
paragraph six:I will actively participate and use my motivating ability, inorder to encourage others achieve a great role in student group
both in and outside class.

And lastly I'm having trouble writing the conclusion, I'm thinking of just a 1 sentence conclusion but I don't know what to say:

You can conclude by :This is the best way i feel that, good leadership can be learned and practiced in any bussiness schools
to bring good results in the projects they undertake.


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