Cornell-College of Arts and Sciences
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will use the academic programs ...
I am an early grad and this is me jumping head first into the college application process. I know that I need help, so PLEASE any one, much appreciated.
A Paper on the Word: "Undecided"
The word "undecided" arouses in me the image of a person who is lukewarm about many subjects. For fear of this generalization I have been discouraged from taking this path into college. However, I am exactly the opposite- someone with very strong convictions but in such distinct directions that the idea of triangulating on a single major that can encompass my goal is impossible.
When I came to the high school I used the flexibility of the curriculum to explore my interests; I intended to narrow myself into one definable category. With each class I found that quite the opposite was happening. Mechanical/Architectural Drafting made me realize how exciting a future in architecture could be and, Advanced Placement Physics far from dampened my passion for science; it introduced me to a classroom full of people who share a passion for the application of math and science similar to mine. At first it seemed that I was getting farther from a focused decision, but luckily I have found a future that can incorporate all of my passions.
I cannot exactly pinpoint when my childish incomprehension of people who stand on the corners with distended signs was replaced by genuine concern. I do however recall the first "plan" I made to improve their situation. My family and I were in San Francisco on one of our bi-yearly school shopping trips when we passed through one of the worst parts of the downtown. I remember ridding home in the back seat with my sister discussing our plans. We would collect each piece of change that we got in a bag until next time we came to San Francisco, then we would give it out. We did an excellent job collecting our dimes and quarters and the good feeling that helping other people generates began to grow in me.
Since then I have discovered a better way to help. "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day"- I believe that by creating an innovative center that provides psychological, medical, and jobs skills training under one roof, the disenfranchised people of America can provide for themselves a way to reincorporate into society. The challenge and the beauty is once again that I see so many ways to approach this center. Since Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences has the availability of esteemed professors who are actively involved in outreach programs, the prospect of studying abroad and learning from other country's advances, and the ample research opportunities that are unique to a Cornell University education is what I would need to be successful in creating a center that caters to those who are in need and to discover my path.
It is not that my future is a giant question mark; rather, the possibilities to arrive at my dream seem endless. So, at the moment, undecided best describes me.
another question. do they need titiles?I do not think they need titles. I like how you turned being undecided into an advantage. I'm sure some students tried too hard to focus on one thing and ended up hurting their essay. You show the courage to be true to yourself and I think they like that.
Thank you for the boost of confidence. I will get rid of the title:)
Thankyou for the imput. I appreciate it, but I know this still needs work, does anyone have suggestions?
Wow, you are such a great writer. I like how you went about this. As for the title I always tell people to use a title whenever possible, because it gives you an opportunity to start the reader off on a certain thought. My advice would be to make your title more meaningful somehow -- more provocative of the reader's curiosity.
I think you could use a transition sentence just prior to this one, at the start of the 2nd paragraph:
I cannot pinpoint exactly when my childish incomprehension...
You can introduce this paragraph with a general, profound statement about reaching out to disadvantaged people. Then proceed to, "I cannot pinpoint exactly..."
This is a strong essay!!
Well done on this essay! It kept my attention the whole way through. Very strong idea or "argument" (in a way) you pose here...
On the paragraph beginning with "I cannot pinpoint exactly...", you do have a spelling error though: "ridding". I think you meant riding.
That is all though, again very nicely written
thanks for taking the time to help me. I'm glad I found this site:)
