Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


my prompt for uc undergrad - "your most defining quality"


sadia 2 / 4  
Nov 30, 2008   #1
Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are.


The most common and by far the most difficult question in my mind is "what is your most defining quality?" This question has troubled me for months. I pondered long and hard about what I would write about myself and came to a sad conclusion that I have nothing very special to offer, until a friend pointed something out about me. My cultural background is a huge part of who I am. Being a Pakistani American has given me an abundance of opportunities and also some misfortunate stereotypes. The attacks of 911 have left true scars on my family's name. We have had to tolerate a lot by having others single out our culture just because of religious extremist. My life really has been sheltered living in the United States, especially in Los Angeles, but being that I have Pakistani blood I've been exposed to a new kind of world. I find my culture to be very near and dear to my heart. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to go to Pakistan and experience a lifestyle different from my own. The whole trip was somewhat of a culture shock. Being from a suburban town, I was left jaw dropping when I saw all of the poverty and destitute. Many people were begging on the sides of the streets and stopping cars asking for scraps of change. It made me realize how drastically different our two societies are and how fortunate I am. It showed me that the opportunities that I have in my world are diverse from other cultures. So in essence, my defining quality is the fact that I am a Pakastani-American because having this cultural background has led me to become a compassionate, tolerant, grateful and strong person.
TheFlameProof 4 / 20  
Nov 30, 2008   #2
Hi, I don't think you should put how you have no defining quality I think you should start off with Being a Pakistani American and work off that. The rest is pretty good, maybe you should add more detail in your visit there and how your life is here. Hope that helped.

If you have time please comment me on mine I would really appreciate it.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 1, 2008   #3
TheFlameProof, thanks for participating the way you do, and mustering up collaboration. Your sincere feedback is great.

Sadia, here is a way to improve that part where you say you had nothing to offer:

The most common and by far the most difficult question in my mind is "what is your most defining quality?" This question has troubled me for months. I pondered long and hard about what I would write, and I came to a sad conclusion: I thought that I had nothing very special to offer. This changed when a friend pointed something out about me. My cultural background is a huge part of who I am.


Home / Undergraduate / my prompt for uc undergrad - "your most defining quality"
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳