I apply to your college today with much more confidence than I did over a year ago. The letter of rejection I received served as an incredibly useful motivator, pushing me to get a 4.0 the very next semester. Since then I have been working relentlessly to study Computer Science at the University of Texas. I've had my share of failures thus far, but never have I failed to bounce back and prove that I am capable of accomplishing my goals.
I was tested during my time at Brigham Young University. Being raised in the LDS church, I was always told that I would study at BYU, serve a two year mission, and return to start a family. Anything else could be considered unrighteous. So I went, doing what was expected of me. Once I was on my own in Utah, it wasn't long before cognitive dissonance became too present in my mind and I knew that I disagreed with the teachings of the church. This realization was the most profoundly impactful event of my life. I felt completely new, with everything around me taking on a new meaning.
Unfortunately, the dense social stigma that exists in Utah led me to become very uncomfortable and alone. I was approached more than once by church officials who told me that I was asking too many "compromising" questions and instilling doubt in my peers. Bishops called me endlessly saying I was contractually obligated to fully participate in all church functions. Never had I experienced such an intense enforcement of belief as I did at BYU. The whole thing made me feel like some kind of fugitive.
Nevertheless, I used what would seem like a very negative and frightening experience and used it to become a better student as well as an altogether better human being. It was there that a deep love for science was uncovered, even if it was in spite of my religious upbringing. I was able to absorb the good principles of the church, while shedding the bad. Empathy, hard work, and leading by example are ideals that I have come to live by as a result of this, and it is from this perspective that I will try to positively affect as many people as I can.
I worked long hours, lived very frugally, and even sold my car to move back to Texas. I was excited to get started again now that I was in full control of my life. Having been at Austin Community College now for two years, I've gained some extremely valuable experience. I'm lucky to have had some stellar professors here - some of whom also teach at UT. Such intimate class settings have given me a bit of an advantageous glimpse into the more intangible aspects of science and learning in general. I was able to directly interact with my instructors and see the passion that drove them. It is those aspects of ACC that I've come to cherish. They have made me more genuinely curious about my studies, which keeps me diligently working even when it isn't for a grade.
I've always been interested in science. The constant state of flux we are all apart of captivates me. Today, we can see how profoundly technology influences our world's rate of change. Wanting to know how to effectively handle data in biology, I began to teach myself some basic programming. I used online courses from Coursera and Udacity where I quickly became fascinated with how versatile and creative programming can be. I think what really grabbed me is how the scientific method is used as such a raw and fundamental tool for solving problems.
I continued to learn on my own and from my older brother who works extensively with web analytics and programming languages. Now he and I are working together on a few small projects, one of them being a simple, yet effective stock-tracking program based on a company's online activity. I work on such projects mostly for practice and experimentation, but after studying Computer Science more thoroughly, I hope to one day professionally contribute to innovation in a rapidly changing environment. It's an exciting prospect, and one I will continue to work ceaselessly to achieve.
I believe my perspective and the example I strive to set with my actions will have a great impact on my fellow students. My goal, after all, is to help bring about positive change to my surroundings while also bettering myself. I'm confident that, if given the opportunity, I will excel at the University of Texas and represent the school with the utmost honor for years to follow.
I really like this essay. It tells your story well, and has an intimate, personal feel. It's a little long, but I feel that you use your words wisely so I wouldn't worry too much about that. Well done!
The whole thing made me feel like some kind of fugitive.
In my opinion, this sentence, instead of changing pace and adding voice, only cost you your previously sophisticated flair.
But other than that, your choice of words is brilliant, and your sentences have great flow. Good job!
