<<thats my response to the above statement. I need more editing to make this perfect for admissions. I went through 6 drafts to minimize my work and make it 150 words or fewer so please give this a lot of attention. thank you>>>
Hi Taymour,
I didn't find much wrong with your essay. You said in the above statement that, after six revisions, you have been able to minimize your work and come up with a better essay. Is that right? Well, I would venture to say that if you were to revise it one more time, you might find that it will fit within the specifications of the 150 word count and that the essay will satisfy your instructor. Give it one more try. You did well with the essay, by the way!
--Mark :)
This is when I met Hossam, a naive 12 year old boy who worked
inat a farm to help provide for his single mother and younger sister.