Hello, I'm not sure how really sure how strong this essay is, but your critique would be greatly appreciated!
It was 2 A.M. as I sat in my brightly lit bedroom with music softly beating in the background when I asked myself, "Why am I doing this?" In front of me was an A.P. U.S. History textbook, opened to some excruciatingly high numbered page, with lettering too small to read and not a soothing picture or diagram to be seen, and beside it was an SAT prep book. I had always loved history, but I couldn't understand why I was sacrificing another night of sleep in order to study. This was junior year, and I had heard all of the terrible stories of all of the work, and I thought I was going to be able to get by with ease. However, when the true force of the workload hit me, I was ready to throw in the towel and give up. I was prepared to do just that, when I suddenly came to the realization of why I was putting myself through all of this.
I pondered the question "Why does anyone do what they do?" and came to the conclusion that our actions are derived from motivations. To me, the question became: What are my motivations? I had always done school work, studied, and practiced just because. I never really knew why, it was just the norm and was what my friends always did so I went along with it. Now, I felt the need to look into myself and try to understand why I was sitting in my bedroom reading a passage about the Revolutionary War instead of sleeping the night away.
The conclusion I found and one that I continue to hold to today is that I value others more than I ever realized. When I or anybody studies for a test, they most likely do it because they want a good grade and succeed. After all, everyone has always said, "Good grades means going to college and after that you'll be successful and make lots of money." Sure, that could be true, but there is more to it. What is the use of money and success if you aren't able to share it with someone? To me, when I begin to question my intentions or motivations, I think of my mother working sixty hours a week so she can help pay for my college exams and applications. By giving up on myself, I am giving up on her more than anything.
My mother is a incredible source of inspiration in my life, but my motivations to succeed aren't based on her, they are based on my future as well. When I grow up, I want to look at my children and think to myself, "I have given them every chance to succeed in this world because I fought for it."
I used to believe that everything I did was for the direct benefit of me, and in a small aspect to impress my parents. However, that sleepless night of history, many more of which followed, helped me to understand why I do what I do, and that my desire to achieve isn't derived from what I want in myself, but what I want to do for others.
I really like the message in this essay. In fact, i believe that most of us HAVE gone through this stage at some point.
One thing I want to point out is when u talked about your mother: maybe to make it more interesting, you could add some elements of her earlier in your essay? eg. hearing her coming home late from work? how she influenced you..?
I hope this helps! and pls take a quick look at my essay too (its also for Yale)!
