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Unexpected Lesson - Common App Essay


Ashland2013 1 / 1  
Oct 24, 2012   #1
Essay prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. 250-500 words
All eyes were staring at me. Usually, I would be the one sitting and staring, but as the president of the Red Cross Club, it was my responsibility to conduct the meetings. It was my first time taking any leadership roles so I didn't have any prior experience.

Managing the club was fun and challenging but it was also time consuming. The vice president of the club was suppose to help lessen the work, but she didn't really contribute. I didn't want any complications from the club to ruin our friendship so I half-heartedly managed most of her tasks and the majority of the meeting agendas, organization of events, and daily meeting routines until the last meeting of the school year. On the last club meeting, the volunteer director for the Red Cross Chapter came in to hold elections. Both the vice president and I ran for the presidency.

When I heard that she was a candidate I was a little shocked. I questioned her contributions for the club and her presidency for a different club which held approximately one meeting every two months. But regardless of my reasoning during the election on why I would be the better president she still won. When the volunteer director asked me to continue as a member I wasn't willing, and so I quit.

Days after the election I realized that If this never happened I never would have reflected as hard as I did when I lost, and then I would have never realized my mistakes and the valuable lessons I learned. One of the lessons I learned is how important it is to build relationships and, regardless of how uncomfortable it may be, it's imperative to communicate with another when problems arise. I always had this mindset that a leader needed to do all the work, and because of that, after the members and I discussed what to do for an event, I would execute it by myself because I didn't want to burden them with work. But the perspective I had was incorrect; asking the members for assistance would have strengthened their ties with the club because of their contributions. Now I have a different view if I ever take on any leadership positions in the future. Instead of executing everything myself, I'll divide up the work fairly.

I frequently saw the newly elected president during school. Contrary to what most people anticipated, there were no death stares given. She helped me improve as a leader, and plus I now have a topic to write about for this essay. Although I won't have another chance to lead the club again, the club is about helping others so, who knows, maybe I'll decide to join again.

*Does the tone of the essay at the second paragraph sound okay? I don't want any negative impressions of me from the college admissions.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Oct 24, 2012   #2
The vice president of the club was supposed to help lessen the work,

complications from the club to ruin our friendship,

ruin our friendship so I half-heartedly managed most of her tasks and the majority of the meeting agendas,

Maybe you shouldn't use half-heartedly.

why I would be the better president, she still won.

, and so I quit

election I realized that Ifif this never happened I never would

I learned is how important it is to build relationships and, regardless of

Great essay! As for the tone of the second paragraph, it sounds ok, but maybe you shouldn't use the word half-heartedly. It doesn't sound like you're bitter at the vice-president, because you said you didn't want to ruin your friendship by confronting her about it. Good work!
ramenbowl95 5 / 8  
Oct 24, 2012   #3
"Days after the election I realized that If this never happened I never would have reflected as hard as I did when I lost, and then I would have never realized my mistakes and the valuable lessons I learned."

"One of the lessons I learned is how important it is to build relationships and, regardless of how uncomfortable it may be, it's imperative to communicate with another when problems arise."

Some sentences in your piece seem a bit long. If you can shorten some of them, more emphasis can be seen in your actions!
And I didn't really get any type of negative impression when I read the 2nd paragraph.
Good luck!!

If you get a chance, check out my essays!
OP Ashland2013 1 / 1  
Oct 24, 2012   #4
Thanks EF_Susan! I'll be sure to make the changes!
and Thank you ramenbowl95!, I'll read your essay


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