stevencia 1 / - Oct 30, 2012 #1The beauty of life is the divergence that god created among us. At one point of life we all seem familiar by our actions which makes us common but really were each blessed with individual talents and unique characteristics which makes us completely different among each other. However, with all the qualities we possess, at one point of time if we cannot bring them to the contribution to others or societies they all become in vain. Qualities I believe I possess that would allow me to contribute to Florida A&M University are my ability to get up and overcome all obstacles to reaching my goals and dreams. I don't believe in giving up, in fact everything is possible if you work hard and never give up. They say you are who you hang with so I surround myself with positivity; positive thoughts will lead to a positive outcome so I tend to keep an attitude for gratitude. I will contribute to FAMU by fighting against negativity, join SGA to help our campus. I am a very open-minded individual; join different clubs that allow me help others who aren't able to do for themselves. Doing so would benefit both FAMU and I because, it would give me a head start as a Nursing Major, and helping my fellow FAMU community maintain a healthy, safe and beautiful community. I am very honest with myself and with others no matter who the person appears to be. I have great leadership skills, i love to show others how far they can go by pushing them to the next level which is the key to success matter what goal you set for yourself.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96 Nov 1, 2012 #2Hi :) Your essay still needs some work. I think that it is a bit hard to read. It sounds like you have a lot of great ideas, but you are having trouble organizing them. Instead of rambling, try to write in a clear and concise manner. Here is an example of a sentence that needs to be re-phrased:At one point of life we all seem familiar by our actions which makes us common but really were each blessed with individual talents and unique characteristics which makes us completely different among each other.You may want to say it more clearly, simply: "What makes us all alike is our human nature. What sets us apart from each other is our individual talents and unique characteristics."However, with all the qualities we possess, at one point of time if we cannot bring them to the contribution to others or societies they all become in vain.I think you should omit this sentence. Use the space you've got to explain what qualities you have, because your word limit is so small. I suggest that you solidly list off all of the great characteristics that are unique to you (after the first 2 sentences) The qualities that will help you in college are what the officials want to hear. Skills like leadership, discipline, hard work... etc. I love the way you explain your positive attitude, elaborate on that. Nice work so far, good luck in school :)
