What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply?
Yale's unique environment is why I'm applying. Yale's the only place where I can receive a Queen's education, and live in a castle at the same time. Additionally, only Yale offers afternoon teas with prestigious people. Consequently, Yale is unique. Yale is special. And that is why I am applying to Yale.
I'm not sure if I even like it...it sounds weird and awkward. Any help that I could get would be really appreciated!!
hey i love the idea of your short answer but i think its less specific and more general. Simply I think you should have one focus when it comes writing why you want to apply there. If their environment is the number one reason why you want to apply then maybe you should elaboarte more on that and the weather there and write it in creative way. However if you aren't able to do that then write about something that yale can only offer such as a program or research facility, and describe why that appeals to you so much that you want to apply because of it. Hope that helps..:)
hey can you give me feedback on my columbia essay
the queen ,castke stuff is cute
yale is not the only one to have masters teas at all..lots of schools do it they just call it other names
thus, that characteristic does not make it unique
dont end your essay with thats why im applying to yale...very elementary...like when little kids write "the end" after they write a story.
i would say major rewrite
fix the intro sentence...say something more like. It is the unique Yale environment that draws me to New Haven...something more interesting like that
check out my stuff if you have time & i appreciate harsh comments
Why Yale? - Short Answer
What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply?
I stepped on the green grass, greeted by the tour guide who warmly welcomed me to Yale. The kindness exhibited by this guide, was also radiated from Yale's student body combining to create the unique atmosphere that only Yale exhibits. Yale is unique in other ways as well; only at Yale is it possible to receive an education fit for a king and simultaneously live in a castle. Yale is the special combination of a warm student body educated by the best professors, which is why I am applying.
I don't really like this, so I could definitely use any help! Thanks!!
DITCH "WHICH IS WHY IM APPLYING" bad...no..no..no..
too elementary
shoot..I forgot to take it off..thanks lol
Other than that I think it is good.
Maybe you could elaborate a bit more though.
