I am very fortunate to call the United States of America my home. It would be an honor to be able to serve the very country that I love and to give back to the nation that has given me and my family so much opportunity.
So far, it all seems generic, cliched, and common. I am looking for an unforgettable theme.
There are men and women from every background who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service to this magnificent nation.
This is well written, and it is true, but it is something the reader already knows. To write a good essay, you need to start with a good idea.
Freedom is certainly not free. ---I think I have heard this before.
Okay, the bottom line for the first essay is this: You write well, obviously, and it is great that you are so passionate about service, but as an essay these paragraphs do not express any new idea. They express common, patriotic ideas, nothing original.
Essay #2: Commitment is a means to an end. It is not inherently virtuous. What if the policy makers begin to take immoral action and use the military to take exploitative and cruel action? Would you remain committed regardless of the decisions made in congress?
Doing what is right for our country and ourselves. ----This is not always easy to determine.
I think maybe commitment is not the best word. Are there other words that can capture what your parents taught? Perhaps the word single-mindedness can better capture your ideal.
The third essay is the one I like the most. I see no errors to correct, and I am impressed by the way you managed the topic of diversity. You express a great theme: Valuing diversity allows us to enhance ourselves by eliminating ignorance and gaining different perspectives on life.
I found an error, actually:
It
embraces (what does diversity do to one's character? Maybe it "refines" it) refines one's character, which forms the basis of many of our values.
:-) Good luck!