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"the United States of my home" + "becoming successful" + diversity: WEST POINT ESSAY


silliebabyelmo 1 / -  
Nov 16, 2010   #1
1. Compose your own responses. In the space below, explain why you want to attend the United States Military Academy and serve on active duty as an Army officer.

I am very fortunate to call the United States of America my home. It would be an honor to be able to serve the very country that I love and to give back to the nation that has given me and my family so much opportunity. I want to serve my country because I want to give back a small portion of what I have been given. I want the chance to let others know what it means to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. I want to express the tremendous honor it is to live in a country based on the highest ideals man has ever seen through my service. It is my dream to be given the privilege of serving as an officer in the United States military where I will serve and protect the very freedoms upon which this nation was founded.

There are men and women from every background who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service to this magnificent nation. They knew what could be the price of freedom and yet they willingly went forward and put their lives on the line for something that mattered more than themselves. That is the very essence of what makes us a great nation. As long as there are men and women who are ready to serve in this same fashion, we will continue to be the great nation that our founding fathers had envisioned. I hope to honor these heroes by serving with the same dedication and by defending our nations values outlined in our constitution as an officer in the United States military.

Freedom is certainly not free. The emotion that stirs inside of me by stating these words are more than most can bear. This is the reason I admire the heroic men and women of the United States, who serve their country all around the world. This is why I want to apply to West Point Military Academy and become an officer. I want to lead the way for future soldiers by serving with honor and respect for this nation and its beliefs. I am proud to be an American living in a land that provides the brightest beacon of hope and freedom in the world. I want to be a part of that beacon by serving as an officer in the United States

military.

2. Compose your own response. What are the most important qualities in becoming a successful
USMA cadet and a successful Army officer?

There are many factors that weigh heavily to becoming successful. Some of the major factors are
technology, economic resource, innovation, and timing. However, I believe an individual success is based on the belief of the basic concepts and how faithfully they are carried out. Which lead to the most single important factor to an individual success, which in my belief is commitment. Commitment ignited action. To commit is to pledge yourself to a certain purpose or line of conduct. It also means practicing your belief consistently. Possibly the best description of commitment is persistence with a purpose. In a way commitment is like integrity. Commitment is like integrity. Doing what is right, legally and morally and willing to do what is right even when no one is looking. Integrity is our moral compass, our an inner voice. To have a set sound values in

you is important. Most of the value, cadet and officers have are the value that their family taught them. Having integrity instill in the officers and cadet provided them with a path of success and righteousness. Doing what is right for our country and ourselves. But sometime integrity is not enough, sometime doing what is right mean sacrificing something important. That is why selfless service and courage is important. Doing the things that cadets and officers do take courage and guts, they are doing it for something bigger than themselves. They are doing it for our nation.

My family instilled numerous value and skills they believe would assist me in my life. Commitment was their main goal. Although it is very difficult to demonstrate commitment, the rewards for it are never enduring. The only way to achieve a regulation for commitment is though determination and persistence. Genuine commitment stands the test of time, they taught me, and wavering commitment is usually seen as no commitment at all. Commitment is like a promise. Whether it is a promise to yourself or to other, promise should never be broken. West Point is my dream. I want to become an officer in the U.S. Army. I will make a commitment to West Point. I will try my very best to succeed, even with all the hardship that I will endure while I am there. Because I know that what I will receive when I am done with West Point is amazing. West Point is my

promise, with courage, integrity, motivation, and commitment I will be able to make it through West Point.

3. Compose your own response. West Point and the Army are committed to the idea that respect for others and an understanding of diversity are important leadership traits. Why will you be successful in working with leaders, peers, and subordinates of a gender, color, ethnicity, and/or religion different from your own?

An understanding of diversity will increase ones open-mindedness and the ability to comprehend life's differences. Diversity brings uniqueness to individuals and makes us interesting.It embraces one's character, which forms the basis of many of our values.Valuing diversity allows us to enhance ourselves by eliminating ignorance and gaining different perspectives on life.By embracing the importance of diversity,I will be better informed, and will be able to make stronger intellectual assessments given any situation.

I have had the privilege to spend my childhood experiencing the cultures of both America and traditional Vietnam.In regards to this,I have personally experienced the issue of ethnic diversity.I have balanced the differences between these two lifestyles my whole life.An example of this balance lies within my familys structure.The Vietnamese culture places an enormous value in the importance of family.My family has often stressed and emphasized the importance of loyalty and honor to the family,as well as avoidance of shame or embarrassment to the family.While I have chosen to abide by my parents' teachings and cultural background with regards to making choices that would affect me and my family,I also rely on my own perspectives as an American to assist me.By combining the strong elements of the Vietnamese culture with the innumerable opportunities provided by the American culture,I have learned to make well-informed choices and created my own uniquely diverse set of values.

For the past five summers,I have attended several academic and athletic residential programs that have exposed me to several types of diversity.My summer at the LEAD America in 2008 provides the best example of this.Within the first ten minutes of checking in to my dorm room on the first day, I met a girl who opened my eyes to such perspectives.I met her family, including her nine-year-old sister who is deaf.Afterward,I asked myself, What is the good in valuing diversity with respect to physical/mental handicap? For many people, it is hard to realize how their life would be if they had the burden and the reward of caring for a handicapped family member. It is when one truly appreciates such diversity that they can value their own lives and treasure what is given to them.

Diversity has enriched my educational experience.I have learned from those with experiences, beliefs, and perspectives that are different from my own and these lessons were learned best in a diverse environment. Diversity challenges stereotypes and prejudices.It encourages critical thinking and it helped me learn to communicate effectively with people of varied backgrounds.Education within a diverse setting prepares cadets to become good officers in an increasingly complex, multicultural society.It fosters mutual respect and teamwork.Diversity makes us stronger and better as an individual and a military.Diversity will continue to make me and the United States military successful.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,324 129  
Nov 26, 2010   #2
I am very fortunate to call the United States of America my home. It would be an honor to be able to serve the very country that I love and to give back to the nation that has given me and my family so much opportunity.

So far, it all seems generic, cliched, and common. I am looking for an unforgettable theme.

There are men and women from every background who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service to this magnificent nation.

This is well written, and it is true, but it is something the reader already knows. To write a good essay, you need to start with a good idea.

Freedom is certainly not free. ---I think I have heard this before.

Okay, the bottom line for the first essay is this: You write well, obviously, and it is great that you are so passionate about service, but as an essay these paragraphs do not express any new idea. They express common, patriotic ideas, nothing original.

Essay #2: Commitment is a means to an end. It is not inherently virtuous. What if the policy makers begin to take immoral action and use the military to take exploitative and cruel action? Would you remain committed regardless of the decisions made in congress?

Doing what is right for our country and ourselves. ----This is not always easy to determine.
I think maybe commitment is not the best word. Are there other words that can capture what your parents taught? Perhaps the word single-mindedness can better capture your ideal.

The third essay is the one I like the most. I see no errors to correct, and I am impressed by the way you managed the topic of diversity. You express a great theme: Valuing diversity allows us to enhance ourselves by eliminating ignorance and gaining different perspectives on life.

I found an error, actually:
It embraces (what does diversity do to one's character? Maybe it "refines" it) refines one's character, which forms the basis of many of our values.

:-) Good luck!


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