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Uniting people to gather their opinion about biochemistry


Shizumi 2 / 3  
Jan 1, 2017   #1
How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania?

"firsts times", clash of various opinions



As the eldest sister in my family, there's a lot of firsts time in our life such as being the first family member attending college, first to apply for college, first to get a decent amount of education. Researching which colleges fit me, I came to realize that University of Pennsylvania had a lot of first to when Benjamin Franklin open the school. University of Pennsylvania was the first to open a school of medicine and the first to have a teaching hospital.

Already interested in the medical field, I decided to head down to Philadelphia and explore its surroundings. As I approach University of Pennsylvania, I was surrounded by nature and a blend of cultural environment. Aiming to pursue in the field medicine, I wanted to attract different people like how electrons attracts other atoms or molecules to form a bond. Talking to numerous amount of people from different background helps to inspire myself with new information and new solutions. (how do I write that by talking to people, I become more inspire and educate). In the College of Arts and Science, it provides many programs to help unite students, especially if our (another word of intuitions and opinions) differ. It would only excite me that many of my opinions may clash with others to gain a better sense of what others think of that subject.

OR

Walking on the paths of University of Pennsylvania, I was intrigued in the spaces the University has. Everything seems complicated but organized. It was in the middle of many stores that can benefit students when they run out of school supplies or need to go grocery shopping. The university that Benjamin Franklin founded has what I want in a university.

Besides the environment, University of Pennsylvania has programs that sparks my motivation. My dream is to become a doctor and getting advices from alumni that University of Pennsylvania offers many off-campus experiences. With a diverse population, it excites me that many of my opinions may clash with others and I could gain a better sense of what others think of biochemistry. Surrounding myself with different people will allow me to learn new skills, explore different perspectives and gain life experience.

I applied for College of Arts and Science not only because of the major, biochemistry, but also for their internship programs as well as their research programs. Being able to participate in these programs can help answer some questions I have in mind. Not only will the programs help me answer some questions but I'll be able to connect with some colleagues for better point of view.

(I'm having trouble writing this essay... I know I talk about the school a lot but I don't know how to word what I'm trying to say.)
hartmanj684 - / 2 1  
Jan 1, 2017   #2
What I'm gathering from your essay is that you want to go to this school to major in biochemistry as a pre-med track to becoming a Medical Doctor.

I wouldn't mention the landscape, or the buildings, or what the campus looks like. You're interested in the biochemistry department - are there faculty members that you want to work with? Did they publish research that is in-line with your interests in the medical field? Does the University of Pennsylvania have top-notch affiliations with hospitals? Special lab equipment? What is it about THIS SCHOOL that will provide you with experiences that will help you in your future career?

Similarly, intellectually you seem interested in collaboration and discussion with other students. Awesome! Mention the class formats that they advertise, if that is what drew you to the school. I like your mention of diversity and culture. What can you also bring to the table in that regard? Do you have an interesting upbringing/schooling/viewpoint to bring to other students?

Hope that helps guide your writing somewhat!
OP Shizumi 2 / 3  
Jan 1, 2017   #3
@hartmanj684
Thank you! You make great points! I see the direction I want to go for this essay now, thank you again! I hope you can read my rewritten draft.


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