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University of Chicago Essay - A dream about lakes, bridges, and The Box

colorfuloving 6 / 31  
Dec 27, 2009   #1
Hey everyone! This is my attempt at this Chicago supplemental essay:

How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago.

Any feedback would be appreciated! Do you believe I explain my own wishes clearly(the whole dream sequence is supposed to indicate my desires as well)? I'm having a lot of trouble with these schools' WHY US essays </3, hehehe.


An alarm clock buzzed on the bedside table and I got up, rubbing my eyes in preparation for a long day. Through the window, I saw off in a distance the glassy water of Lake Michigan and the venerable presence of the Mitchell Tower. I rushed through the DelGiorno House and to The Box for a quick breakfast, stopping to chat with a housemate about an upcoming Indiana Dunes trip. As I stepped onto the lush, green pathway leading to my Art of Asia class, I took in my surroundings with childish wonder. The powerful energy emanating from the majestic gothic architecture coursed through my veins, serving as just a preview of the intellectual vitality, groundbreaking research, and witty conversations I could find within. After two invigorating hours of examining original Japanese woodblock prints with ten students and an active professor, I headed to the Botany Pond Bridge (no kisses for me this time) and on to my favorite place - the Regenstein Library. Later, after a speech by Carol Moseley and dinner cooked by my roommate, I crawled into bed. I sighed with contentment and went to turn the lights out when...

I woke up. Suddenly I was back in my messy room in Simi Valley, having fallen asleep in front of my laptop while writing my University of Chicago essays. Although I was unwillingly sucked from my reverie of the perfect college day, my mind and heart craved for more. Where else can I listen to speeches by some of the world's greatest scholars, live in a Hogwarts-esque house with its own crazy yet beloved traditions, and examine ancient artwork with professors that discovered them? For me, the university is the one place where young minds like mine went to embrace uniqueness, and were truly embraced in return. As for my wishes? I want to be in a school where I'm surrounded by a group of students like me who really care about what they learn, and don't just take the path of least resistance. I know that at Chicago, I'll be taught how to think, how to question knowledge and actively participate in my education instead of just absorbing and regurgitating facts. Like in my dream, I want to thrive in an intelligent student body that is eager to discuss things from Asian art to inter-house cooking challenges, scavenger hunt items to Hyde Park bookstores - all in a city that's just as vibrant as the college in it. When I'm older, I want to look back on my college experience and say, "That's the school that taught me how to survive and thrive in the world, and the reason why I'm succeeding as a *insert awesome career here* today". And if I go to the University of Chicago, I know I'll be able to do so proudly. So, as I turned back to my laptop, a blank Word document beckoning me eagerly, I began to write. Next year, I thought. Let's make that dream a reality.

jen50192 4 / 37  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
I like your closing sentence. :) Gives a good sense of your true sincerity.
The descriptions are very vivid but too much may get confusing.
The essay is good at providing specifics in what you are interested in but some sentences may be a bit bulky and choppy.

Good luck!
OP colorfuloving 6 / 31  
Dec 28, 2009   #3
ahh, thank you very much!
you gave me a lot of valid points (and fixed my grammatical errors, yayy) that I can really work with.

:D good luck to you too!

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