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University of Cincinnati Admission Essay


ssuraj 4 / 7  
Nov 29, 2009   #1
Please provide a Personal Statement regarding how your academic achievements, personal interests, and life experiences have helped prepare you to succeed academically and to be an active member of the UC community. Be sure your response addresses each of the three components. (Please limit your response to approximately 250 words).

Bo Bennett once said "A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement." As a child, my parents instilled in me the values of thinking big to succeed and helping others succeed as well.

Initially, success didn't come so easily. After moving from India and with a new window of opportunity, I developed an academic interest essential for success. Reading became my passion that I successfully completed the "Ohio Reads Governor's Challenge" in elementary school. In high school, given my prior knowledge about the world, I achieved success in Speech and Debate and qualified to the National Tournament.

Beyond school, I've had a knack for science. I was addicted to my first ever Encyclopedia. My goal was to read one topic everyday and explicate it to my father. I even wrote journals with my own innovative ideas. All the scientific knowledge I've acquired prior has given me a direction to proceed into the biomedical field. My doctor often jokes "this boy has a knack for the human body; just throw him into med school now."

The vast difference in educational opportunities between India and here gave me a purpose of excelling academically. Here, we have so many facilities and opportunities that many would love to have in India. While visiting India, I realized how privileged I am and that I shouldn't let it go to waste.

With a strong background in education and various academic activities, I will bring my "think big" attitude to the UC community.

*please provide constructive criticism. comments on strong points and weak points and what i can change to improve my essay will be greatly appreciated.
TimMill 9 / 63  
Dec 1, 2009   #2
A good start- you have the fundamentals: your background, your interests, your goals. Remember the prompt, though: Please provide a Personal Statement regarding how your academic achievements, personal interests, and life experiences have helped prepare you to succeed academically and to be an active member of the UC community. Be sure your response addresses each of the three components. You talk about how you're prepared to succeed academically, do you have enough words to explain how you'll be an active member of the UC community? Hope this helps, best of luck.


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