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University of Michigan (Issue of Local Concern)

Fiddysin 6 / 15  
Oct 29, 2009   #1
Comments and Criticism Welcome!

[B] Discuss an issue of local concern. Why is this issue important to you? How do you think it should be addressed? (500 words)

The game is getting down to the wire, I'm cheering vehemently out of my seat, Kobe Bryant hits the game-winning shot and the Los Angeles Lakers just won the game. This feeling of excitement and joyousness is felt by all Laker fans as they progress towards the exit of Staples Center. As my family and I head towards the parking lot still in disbelief of the miraculous victory, I witness a chaotic scene as numerous cars are backed up with nowhere to move. Brake lights are flashing left and right as drivers furiously honk at each other. Our once delightful mood has shifted into a nerve-racking situation. What was supposed to be a 45 minute drive home ended up taking two miserable hours. In an immense city such as Los Angeles, traffic and car pileups are sometimes inevitable. However, imagine shifting this awful dilemma to Diamond Bar, a city that is a fraction of the size of Los Angeles.

The construction of a new football stadium has recently been proposed to the city of Diamond Bar. This topic has sparked many petitions and debates throughout the city. I personally believe the addition of a stadium will engender more problems than solutions. To begin with, the stadium is intended to be located at the intersection of the 57 and 60 freeways, the most congested section in Diamond Bar. Not only would this affect daily commutes, but also worsen the already hectic traffic issues. Furthermore, the location is within the proximity of a "village" which consists of many restaurants, shops, and fitness centers where many teenagers spend their leisure time. As a result, side streets as well as freeways would be heavily affected. The land allotted to the stadium is also very limited, leaving inadequate space for parking. Although transportation is a major issue, there are various other issues that impact Diamond Bar residents as well.

Many loyal residents of Diamond Bar are against the building of a stadium. Houses surrounding the suggested location will lose much of its value since traffic and noise are unattractive. Therefore, these houses will be difficult to sell in the future and owners will be frustrated. The city is also not certain whether the stadium will generate profit or be in excessive debt. In addition, the National Football League season does not span the entire year. The season commences in early September and concludes in December or January so the stadium will not be able to be used to its fullest potential for the whole year. Introducing minor events or concerts will produce additional revenue. However, these venues will not make up for the cost of the $800 million stadium. Consequently, the disadvantages of the stadium far outweigh its minimal advantages.

As I pursue a career in business, this concern has allowed me to step into the shoes of all the aspects of this crucial decision. Contemplating both the pros and cons of a situation is essential in determining the beneficial choice. Moreover, it is necessary to analyze whether the tradeoffs were worthwhile of not. From a business perspective, this issue has enabled me to consider the contrasting perspectives of any critical decision needed to be made.
cissylewel 5 / 24  
Oct 30, 2009   #2
the last paragragh seems a little unnecessary... especially to bring up that you want to major in business...
OP Fiddysin 6 / 15  
Oct 31, 2009   #3
Thank you for the comment. I will take that into consideration. Any other suggestions from the moderators or any one else? Thanks! your help is greatly appreciated
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 1, 2009   #4
Vehement does not seem to fit here:
I'm cheering vehemently and jumping out of my seat...

Hey, great job, this is really well-written. I suggest something a little different; instead of omitting the last paragraph, I think you should make a strong connection between the issue of concern and your intentions to major in business. You can help a lot of people if you make noble decisions as a businessperson -- and it is possible to write a brilliant paragraph about how you will use your education to achieve purposes related to this dilemma. You will be able to be a key player in the game of decision-making.
OP Fiddysin 6 / 15  
Nov 1, 2009   #5
Thank you so much for the great advice Kevin! I will edit this and post a revised one soon.

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