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University of Michigan Supplement Essay--My Time in the Navy

saubesas 1 / -  
Aug 20, 2019   #1

from an unprepared sailor to a confident, knowledgeable communicator

If you could only do one of the activities you have listed in the Experiences section of your Common Application, which one would you keep doing? Why? (Required for all applicants.) (250 words)

Throughout my time in the Navy, my exposure to new skills and resulting experiences enabled me to step out of my comfort zone and take charge. My military experience instilled discipline in me, and shaped me into a leader. Additionally, I learned from my failures and bettered myself not only as a sailor, but as a human being. My experience as an Aviation Maintenance Administration Third Class provided me with certain professional and life skills in a high-stress, demanding environment. Through trial and error as well as repetition, I built a daily routine for myself and eventually adjusted to setting priorities, meeting deadlines, and conducting important briefings. I learned how to handle stress and convert it into positive motivation and energy to complete my daily routines with high standards. I transitioned from being an unprepared sailor, who stuttered every time I stepped up to the podium, to a confident, knowledgeable communicator.
Maria - / 1,099 389  
Aug 27, 2019   #2
Hi there. I see that you're new here. Welcome to the forum! I hope that you find this feedback helpful for your writing endeavors.

Firstly, I would suggest organizing details of your text in a more structured manner. While you were able to lay out the bare minimum requirements for the text, you still needed to have a more cohesive approach to writing everything down. You can firstly tackle the relevance of these credentials to your personal beliefs. Afterwards, you can go through a sequence of your personal endeavors.

Furthermore, I also heavily recommend adding a lot more pauses into your text. Remember to allot space for proper punctuation at all times. When dealing with complex sentences, this is even more critical.

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