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University of Pennsylvania optional supplement (the good old autobiography)


z4evafoolz 7 / 31  
Dec 26, 2009   #1
Prompt: You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit page 217.

NOTE TO EVERYONE: the page 217 can be based on your life SO FAR as well (the way I took it and asked the university!)

...beginning of something completely different. It was unexpected, like a bombshell dropped out of nowhere. All the school tests were considerably harder than those in grade 10. I at first regretted taking this IB course, and wanted to switch back to NCEA , the 'easier option' as my school friends considered. However, once I was caught in this mysterious labyrinth of IB that was wearing me away, physically and mentally, there was only one way out. Quitting was a no go. One piece to the puzzle that unlocks the door, I thought, was determination.

And so you, the readers, would have guessed that I was intelligent, determined boy when I started the 2-year IB course. You are perfectly right. I was determined. I was determined to pull through and get a great overall mark in IB. Unfortunately, grades did not follow determination; unfortunately, I put in more than what I got back. As Benjamin Franklin -- the founder of the university that I wanted to attend since the start of grade 10 -- said, "If you get more than you put in, you have the philosopher's stone." I engraved this quote deep in my heart that it almost became my motto, but I broke this golden rule that I always lived by. I was incessantly making an effort to strike those top marks in literature, German, and chemistry, but honestly, all I got back was a collaboration of C's in my report. I do not lie about this, and I am not embarrassed to share with you the failures I have experienced throughout the beginning of the IB course. I am not ashamed of it solely for this reason: without failure, no success. Another piece to the puzzle that unlocks the door, I thought, was learning from my mistakes.

When I got 12 out of 25 in my literature essay in April 2008, I didn't put my head down and let all the neuron transmitters which cause depression chew me away. I asked Mr. David Shaw, my world literature teacher, why I was getting such results. He told me what I was doing wrong, and provided me with a detailed step-by-step method that could improve my literature marks which I carefully noted in my diary, in a condensed form of 3 words: read, practice, and write. I implemented this method all throughout April and as much as the three words looked simple and easy, it was difficult. Many nights I thought to myself that I cannot do this, I cannot survive IB. The problem was that it took this much of an effort for one out of three subjects I was getting C's at. German: learn, think, use. Chemistry: memorize, use logic, solve. I give you my word on this; the final and most crucial piece of the puzzle, in the midst of all adversities, is 'believe'.

You may ask, how can 'belief' and 'determination' be any different? You can believe all you want, but you may not be determined to achieve your beliefs. You can be determined to achieve something, but you may not believe that you can. The truth is that belief sets your mind up to accomplish your goals; determination sets you up physically to obtain them. You do need both: without one or the other, you can never achieve what you want to achieve.

Once I started to believe that I could unlock the door out of this adversity, nothing was impossible. Reading, practicing and writing, once difficult, turned out to be not much of a problem. That April month I had another literature test, and for that test I was more nervous than I had ever gotten before. I wanted to get more than what I put in. I wanted to live by my motto again, because one way of succeeding is to have output greater than input. I spent the longest two hours of my life (until then) in my literature class. My level of nervousness, like everyone else's, increases rapidly when I know I have made all the effort possible, and I'm finally being tested on it. The world literature test result was

...

Any feedbacks would be nice, positive or negative!

Thanks
m126531 4 / 11  
Dec 27, 2009   #2
i know the upenn app is due soon, but if you have time, you can consider writing about the future because colleges want to see your ambitions.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
And so you, the readers, would have guessed that I was intelligent, determined boy when I started the 2-year IB course. You are perfectly right. I was determined. I was determined to pull through and get a great overall mark in IB. Unfortunately, grades did not follow determination; unfortunately I put in more than what I got back. As Benjamin Franklin -- the founder of the university that I wanted to attend since the start of grade 10 -- said, "If you get more than you put in, you have the philosopher's stone." I engraved this quote deep in my heart that it almost became my motto, but I broke this golden rule that I always lived by. I was incessantly making an effort to strike...

I didn't put my head down and let all the neuron transmitters which cause depression chew me away.

I like this sentence a lot for some reason, even though it is a little awkward.

That April, month I had another literature test, and for that test I was more nervous than I had ever gotten been before. I wanted to get more than what I put in. I wanted to live by my motto again, because one way of...

You have great potential, says my intuition!!


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