Hi! I think that for the second one, being off my 10 words isn't too big of a deal. i don't think that the admissions people will be nit picking and counting every word. If they do, then they're wasting thier time.
Again, for the second one, I liked how you included that you are an individual. However, I thought that it was a bit plain. Maybe cut out the first sentence
In high school, I loved to do most activities with only one exception: science lab and jump right into the lab activity with the teamwork. I think that it'll bring so much more depth to the short piece and bring some fun to it as well!
I found several qualities of Rochester to be a good fit for me.
I don't think that the sentence is really necessary. Maybe use those words to include some more "why I love rochester" conversations with the students. Overall, I believed that you like Rochester!
Please take a look at my essay and tell me what you think!