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Our university value diversity. Explain what diversity you can bring.


flo144 1 / -  
Sep 8, 2009   #1
Everyday I come across many forms of diversity, not only in my own life but in many people's such as their culture, and other's way of life or lifestyles. The language they speak, the clothes they wear, the God or gods they worship, or maybe even their very own sexuality. All this and more and charecterizes diversity, and now you ask me how I Florian C., can contribute to making your already diverse university, even more diverse. Throughout my life, I got to encounter this diversity and thus I have been shaped by these experiences that make me a very unusual student.

First of all, I was born and raised in France for about 16 years. There, my worldview and beliefs were shaped by a more liberal society that is in some way less materialistic, religious than the American society. The high schools I've attended in America being religious Christian schools had very conservative ideals and beliefs in contrast of the schools I attended in France with very liberal teachers and students.

I,also, was fortunate enough to have a brother whose job brought him from living in London to Chicago and Shanghai. Therefore, in my younger years, I visited him and had the occasion to discover different lifestyles and cultures. By moving to America and attending a school in Pennsylvania with a very high percentage of international students, I had the opportunity to interact and get acquainted with people from all around the world.

In conclusion, over the course of my life I encountered many people from totally opposite cultures and beliefs. That not only makes me aware of the diversity of our world but it also influenced me.

EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Sep 8, 2009   #2
you essay is VERY general. your not at all specific. go into detail and your essay will be fine.

That's it exactly. We need to see some specific examples of ways in which your diverse experiences have shaped who you are. For instance:

There, my worldview and beliefs were shaped by a more liberal society that is in some way less materialistic, religious than the American society.

Which is shown by the time you . . .
Or, by the way you . . .

The high schools I've attended in America being religious Christian schools had very conservative ideals and beliefs in contrast of the schools I attended in France with very liberal teachers and students.

And this taught you . . .
Or, you reacted to this by . . .

I,also, was fortunate enough to have a brother whose job brought him from living in London to Chicago and Shanghai. Therefore, in my younger years, I visited him and had the occasion to discover different lifestyles and cultures.

And you learned from this that . . .


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