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University of Western - Ivey - university admission essay - Leadership Potential


GaryJiang 2 / 5  
Jan 9, 2010   #1
1. This program places a high value on applicants' leadership potential. Discuss your most significant leadership achievement paying particular attention to the challenges, actions, and results achieved. Please respond using 250 words.

I believe there is no such thing as a great "natural leader." Leadership qualities are nurtured from experience, persistence, initiative and the desire to succeed. Initially, I joined my school's Volunteers in Power (VIP) club only to finish my community-service hours. However, the experience and pleasure in participating in and organizing fundraisers, charity events and promotions sparked an unexpected intrigue. I began to want more than community-service hours. I wanted to be a leader. Today, my key role as the Communications/External Affairs executive for my club has set a platform for where I am able to discover my leadership potential. This year, VIP has closely worked with the Toronto Foundation for Student Success (TFSS) in events such as the TTC coin challenge, an event geared towards raising funds to decrease student poverty. This event tested me in terms of human management, time management and communication skills. I was responsible for contacting and informing the TTC, TFSS and school admin about dates, required resources and paperwork, advertising this event via morning announcements, posters and email, and supervising the 113 students in the event. VIP raised $1,869.64.

In a short time, I have unexpectingly developed a devotion to VIP. I was not born a natural leader and am still growing, but the experiences, setbacks and challenges I have faced as a VIP executive can only help me when facing future difficulties. My experiences with VIP motivate me to explore my leadership potential and I am eager to succeed.

PLEASE BE CRITICAL :)
Jeannie 10 / 214  
Jan 10, 2010   #2
PLEASE BE CRITICAL :)

OK, if you insist :)

Actually, this is quite good! If I help you, will you help some others with their essays? Please?

I believe there is no such thing as a great "natural leader." (I beg to differ. While I agree there are those who learn to be effective leaders, there are also those who are practically born taking charge. To say there is no such thing as a natural leader begs the question, "why not?" In my opinion, you fail to prove your assertion in this next bit...> Leadership qualities are nurtured ... I joined my school's Volunteers in Power (VIP) <<perfect club only to finish my ...

However, the experience and pleasure inI gained from participating in and organizing ...

... club has set a platform forfrom where I am able to ...
This year, VIP has closely worked with the Toronto Foundation for Student Success (TFSS)<<perfect in events such as the TTC missed a spot :) what is TTC?? coin challenge, an event geared towardsnot incorrect, just too many words with S's in a row - use toward here raising funds to decrease student poverty. This event tested me in terms of humanpersonnel management, time management ...

I was responsible for contacting and informing the TTC, TFSS and school adminspell out the whole word about dates, required resources and paperwork, advertising this events via morning announcements, (...) the 113 students in the eventwho participated or you could say "113 participating students..." . VIP raised $1,869.64.

In a short time, I have unexpectingly<<spelling/typo developed a devotion to VIP.

Excellent! Don't let the red marks scare you, it's the only color I have to work with. :D

Good luck, Gary! I know you'll do well! >Psst Don't forget to help someone else with their essay! It will be much appreciated.

Blue skies!
Jeannie
OP GaryJiang 2 / 5  
Jan 10, 2010   #3
I believe there is no such thing as a great "natural leader." (I beg to differ. While I agree there are those who learn to be effective leaders, there are also those who are practically born taking charge. To say there is no such thing as a natural leader begs the question, "why not?" In my opinion, you fail to prove your assertion in this next bit...>

That is true as well. I sort of wanted to start off my essay with a interesting sentence, but I see the validity in your argument.

And yes, being new on here i will try my best to help others too :)

Thank you!


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