PLEASE BE CRITICAL :)
OK, if you insist :)
Actually, this is quite good! If I help you, will you help some others with their essays? Please?
I believe there is no such thing as a great "natural leader."
(I beg to differ. While I agree there are those who learn to be effective leaders, there are also those who are practically born taking charge. To say there is no such thing as a natural leader begs the question, "why not?" In my opinion, you fail to prove your assertion in this next bit...> Leadership qualities are nurtured ... I joined my school's
Volunteers in Power (VIP) <<perfect club only to finish my ...
However, the experience and pleasure
inI gained from participating in and organizing ...
... club has set a platform
forfrom where I am able to ...
This year, VIP has closely worked with the
Toronto Foundation for Student Success (TFSS)<<perfect in events such as the
TTC missed a spot :) what is TTC?? coin challenge, an event geared toward
snot incorrect, just too many words with S's in a row - use toward here raising funds to decrease student poverty. This event tested me in terms of
humanpersonnel management, time management ...
I was responsible for contacting and informing the TTC, TFSS and school admin
spell out the whole word about dates, required resources and paperwork, advertising
this event
s via morning announcements, (...) the 113 students
in the eventwho participated or you could say "113 participating students..." . VIP raised $1,869.64.
In a short time, I have unexpectingly
<<spelling/typo developed a devotion to VIP.
Excellent! Don't let the red marks scare you, it's the only color I have to work with. :D
Good luck, Gary! I know you'll do well! >Psst Don't forget to help someone else with their essay! It will be much appreciated.
Blue skies!
Jeannie