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The unlimited possibilities of engineering. Accomplishment that sparked a period of personal growth.


matemrtnez 1 / 1  
Nov 21, 2021   #1
I would like to send the common app essay, but my english is not perfect. If some english person could tell me what to change, it would be great. Any corrections are helpfull and i would be happy to change anything, vocabulary, structure... I would really appreciate vocabulary suggestions.

common app essay



This is my essay:

It was four years ago when I was lying on my bed, desperately trying to find what I really liked and wanted to do in the future. At that moment, I could think about anything as I was feeling a lot of pressure from school and family as I didn't know what I really liked, the only thing I knew was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing something I would deeply enjoy. One week later, talking with my aunt and cousins in a cafe, we were talking about planes and I explained to them how a turbine worked. It was then when my aunt told me that she saw a big curiosity on me, on this kind of things, that i was always looking towards learning new things and that I should use this to take advantage in something I really like, to do things that I like, as that was the main purpose of being happy in life. From then I started to change my view of life and looking for the things that completed my life and made me find my passion.

Sport was fundamental in this process. I started getting out of my comfort zone, going for a run at 6am every morning before school was a big step for me. Going out with my bike and discovering not only nature, but also hidden parts of myself. Doing this kind of things helped me to reflect on life, and to spend more time with myself, which is something a lot of people forget. I learned a lot of skills I didn't even know I had, and I discovered my passion for physics and engineering, how curious I was for anything even in the middle of nature, with every bridge, bike or dam. There was something else outside the city, something I could even hear in the middle of the mountains, which I loved. Planes, when you looked at the sky you could always see some, maybe just one or two, or maybe, all over the place. I started looking for different types of planes, as in my city, there was a plane festival every summer, where various military planes and helicopters went to show off. One day, looking at supersonic aircrafts, I decided to take a look at some space rockets, as they looked complex and I didn't really understand how they worked in space, so I started to read about them. I found my other passion, space, and if you mix planes with space you get rockets, and satellites, and a lot of new things I didn't know they even existed.

I started learning about these exotic machines, and started watching some rocket launchings with my friends, following the progress of some space companies, like space-X starships; we watched almost all of the rockets trying to make a big advancement, a reusable rocket launch system. SN10 finally landed. Looking deeply into this world of information, I found a lot of interesting projects in other planets, like the perseverance rover being sent to mars or the juno mission to jupiter. There was a much larger range of information and different things to know when talking about space progressing and technological advancement outside the planet.

Joining the engineering club in my school helped me to see physics in a more practical way, and allowed me to make my inquiries about many aspects of mechanics, learning to make gears, suspension systems and other mechanical processes helped me to fully understand the theory behind it, and also to discover my passion for engineering and the unlimited possibilities it brings in any aspects of life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,948 3857  
Nov 22, 2021   #2
The prompt you have chosen is not properly.related to the writing you have completed. This essay represents your innermost thoughts regarding the method by which you chose your major. It is not really related to a period of growth but, it is related to the development of your personal insight. If I were your formal educational consultant, I would encourage you to consider changing your prompt to any of the following:

- Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.
- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time.
- Share an essay on any topic of your choice.

Personally, I would ask you the use the topic or idea prompt. It just fits as far as I am concerned. It would work very well for your purpose. It would require a few content adjustments though, but the essay will be better for it.
OP matemrtnez 1 / 1  
Nov 22, 2021   #3
@Holt
ok, thank you, i will take a look.


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