How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania?
One characteristic about UPenn that I luxuriate in is its diversity. UPenn circumscribes a totality of backgrounds and experiences, ideas, ideologies, theories and perspectives. I have always loved to be in a diverse community where I will be exposed to the different kinds of people and their myriad of interests in all spheres of life. Diversity is what makes a stronger community and provides competitive edge as well. The practical nature of Penn's diversity lies in its strong liberal arts system. Penn's President, Amy Gutmann, said, "The most challenging questions and problems cannot be addressed by one discipline or profession." She spoke these words to reflect the unique combination of business and the arts and sciences that Wharton offers. Forty percent of my required courses are taken outside Wharton and these will enable me expand my horizon outside business. I plan to take part in the Joseph Wharton Scholars Research Program which emphasizes the importance of arts and sciences and scholarly research within the framework of business. To become a professional accountant by all standards has been my dream since high school. However, Psychology intrigues me a lot, because of the relationship between human behavior and their experiences. This means that UPenn is not only going to make me realize my dream of becoming a professional accountant but also gain firm ground in Psychology to complement my business education.
Wharton School of UPenn being the first to develop a fully integrated curriculum of entrepreneurial studies in 1973 confirms the quality and in-depth of Wharton's Entrepreneurial education to develop global entrepreneurs who will be equipped with skills to initiate business undertaking. I plan on taking advantage of the entrepreneurship opportunities at UPenn. An example is the Georgen Entrepreneurship Management Program. This will help me build an adaptive, risk tolerant management styles which are indispensable in the success of any firm. It will also expose me to the insights from the entrepreneurial business community through the combination of theory and practice.
As a young man, I seek to address some of these misconceptions about 'doing business in Sub-Saharan Africa' on completion of my course. Examples of such misconceptions include 'the sub-Saharan African being too volatile and unpredictable', 'This can be rectified by merely using data'. I look forward to joining the Social Impact Club at Wharton to acquire some of the required skills to address some of these challenges. The activities of the Club will expose me to information that will enable me assess risk and capital flows and implementing business education across the continent through blended model of online and in-person learning. Participating in the Club's activities will help me contribute to Penn's strength in data analytics, finance, entrepreneurship and best in class business education which promote and develop business strategies for a better world.
Kurt Vonnegut said, "If I should die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph, "The only proof he needed for the existence of God was music". Music is what helps me to escape reality. UPenn, and for that matter the Department of Music, is a community I believe will assist me find a good match for my ten years' experience as a keyboardist. I plan on taking part in the Blutt College House Music Program by taking private lessons. This will expose me to highly acclaimed musicians in the region who will perform recitals, lead master classes, organize studio recitals and develop other music-related events that will enhance my music experience at UPenn.
UPenn is a challenging community and I am ready to dedicate my heart and brain to it. It will be my new home.
I have always loved to be in a diverse community where I will be exposed to the different kinds of people and their myriad of interests in all spheres of life.
I would rewrite this sentence as I always love being in a diverse community where I am exposed to different kinds of people and their myriad of interests in all spheres of life.
I personally think the 3rd paragraph seems a little out of place. It is unclear if you are referring to the Georgen Entrepreneurship Management Program or something else. I'm confused about which misconceptions you are referring to.
Overall you are a good writer, I would just recommend a little bit of clarity in the 3rd paragraph.
This is the reviewed essay.
One characteristic about UPenn that I luxuriate in is its diversity and academic opportunities. UPenn circumscribes a totality of backgrounds and experiences, ideas, ideologies, theories and perspectives. I always love being in a diverse community where I am exposed to different kinds of people and their myriad of interests in all spheres of life. Diversity is what makes a stronger community and provides competitive edge as well. I plan to take part in the Joseph Wharton Scholars Research Program which emphasizes the importance of arts and sciences and scholarly research within the framework of business. To become a professional accountant by all standards has been my dream since high school. However, Psychology intrigues me a lot, because of the relationship between human behavior and their experiences. This means that UPenn is not only going to make me realize my dream of becoming a professional accountant but also gain firm ground in Psychology to complement my business education.
In the Sub-Saharan Africa, there are some myths about doing business. As a young man, I seek to address these myths on completion of my course. Examples of such myths include 'There is no competitive urgency to build a presence in Sub-Saharan Africa,' 'Sub-Saharan Africa's growth is all about natural resources and consumer spending.' I look forward to joining the Social Impact Club at Wharton to acquire some of the required skills to address some of these challenges. I will take classes in 'Risk Analysis and Environmental Management', 'Impact Investing', and 'International Business Ethics.' Participating in the Club's activities will help me contribute to Penn's dominance in data analytics, finance, entrepreneurship and best in class business education.
Kurt Vonnegut said, "If I should die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph, "The only proof he needed for the existence of God was music". Music sparks my intellectual curiosity. I am ready to push the odds and step out of my comfort zone into the unknown to bring to bear the greater being that lies in me. I had an experience in High School where I had to take up teaching of songs as a Student Choirmaster. I was very nervous and fear gripped me, because it was my first time attempting that. I was very determined though. I worked harder since it was a new venture. Despite occasional flaws, at the end of the day, I gained confidence and the fears and anxiety was gone. I had self-fulfillment in the new venture as it had made me a better person. I will take advantage of the flexible curriculum, dual degree and independent study opportunity to further explore an academic interest in music by taking a second major, a minor or attend private lessons on the Organ to hone my current abilities in music. Solving today's problems involve a comprehensive approach rather than a profound knowledge in one field only. In harnessing my leadership qualities and bringing to bear African composers, I will start a choral group on campus with the aim of showcasing the African culture through songs of African ensemble.
UPenn is a challenging community and I am ready to dedicate my heart and brain to it. I look forward to brainstorming and harnessing my creativity on campus as I push boundaries and deal with unexpected changes.
I like your edited version a lot, I think you are good to go!
Just a quick note, in my campus visit, and other small talks, I learned that University of Pennsylvania prefers to be called as Penn. You may want to replace UPenn by Penn in your essay : )
