My most memorable music experience is undoubtedly my summers at the Kinhaven Music School in Weston, Vermont. A few months before the summer of 2009, my school's music teacher recommended that I participate in a summer festival to enhance my musical experiences. Kinhaven was one of a few choices that I was presented. In all honesty, my memories of the auditions were greatly overshadowed by the actual experience in Weston, Vermont. After the audition, I was accepted into the summer music school and arrived an early morning in mid June to officially start my intense 6-week long music training.
This was the very first away-from-home camp I have ever attended. It was very daunting the first few hours upon arrival. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the amicable faculty and students already there. I settled into my home for the next 6 weeks without a hitch. Our schedule at the school includes large orchestral ensemble, smaller chamber ensembles, and vocal training. During our free time, we roamed the countryside of Vermont and the lush forest surrounding our campus. The school combined practice and play time into a single entity and balanced each aspect extremely well. We worked hard during the day and socialized during the night. I had made lifelong friends whom I still cherish to this day.
There were several aspects of Kinhaven with which I fell in love. The music intensive training focused on large ensemble and small ensemble. For someone, such as me, who has never had experience in a chamber group, the hard work that came with putting together a piece astounded me. Through hard work and team work with other members and our coaches, the performances of our chamber groups were always very rewarding and satisfying. Playing the violin was not just some hobby to be enjoyed in leisure. By working side by side with many talented and motivated musicians, I came to appreciate and love music much more. By the second week, the students and faculty melded into a single family-we all called each other by first names and spent time socializing like old friends. For me, Kinhaven transformed from an institution for musical training to my summer music home.
Before Kinhaven, I sometimes liked to "show off" my skills on the violin. I became more humble and aware of the work I have to do to better my musicianship. Working hard goes hand in hand with great accomplishment. I'm thankful that I had the chance to alongside others in large and small ensembles for countless hours to "perfect" a spot or enhance the dynamics. This summer experience became a turning point on my road to music.
Thank you to everyone who comments and critiques my essay! I know that there may be many spots that needs fixing or that sounds awkward, so feel free to be straightforward and ruthless in your comments. Nothing taken personally :]
Will, the first thing that i noticed about the essay is that you need to revise the tenses usage. This is an event that happens in the past and yet you use a mix of present and past tenses in discussing it. Review all the tenses and change all of the ones that refer to present tense such as the following:
Our schedule at the schoolincludes large orchestral ensemble, smaller chamber ensembles, and vocal training.
- This should use the term included since you already experience and accomplished these tasks.Aside from that particular tense usage problem, the essay does not seem to suffer from too many problems. It is well written and developed. The response to the prompt was quite concise and thorough. I have to ask though, does this have a word count and did you adhere to it? Or do you feel that the word count needs to be brought down? There are certain portions that I read which could have easily been merged with other sentences and paragraphs. That is why I am asking :-)
