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'USA business and economics' - UC Personal Statement


arsenal924 1 / 1  
Nov 29, 2009   #1
Prompt:

What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

My Response:

Living in America and having access to all forms of education, many people take for granted what others around the world have never experienced. I was born and raised in southern California but I trace my roots back to my home country of Pakistan. The literacy rate in Pakistan at 49.9 percent, one of the lowest in the world. In a recent trip to Pakistan in the summer of 2008, I saw first hand the results of such a low literacy rate. Families in the majority of the neighborhoods and subdivisions are poverty stricken and cannot afford to send their kids to schools. Instead the kids start working on buses, in tailor shops, some beg on the street, and others just roam around the city helplessly not knowing how their families will survive or where their next meal will come from. In a recent wake of radical movements and insurgencies many young kids are offered money and sometimes forced to join the growing Taliban that have begun to take over the country so that they too can begin taking innocent lives. After seeing the condition of the young kids in Pakistan, I decided that something had to be done. For this very reason I became interested in the study of economics and business. My goal is to start a non-profit organization so that I can provide education and technical skills to the young generation of Pakistan so that they can improve their situation instead of begging on streets and joining radical movements. Studying business and economics at the university level will help me lay a foundation for my non-profit organization and it will help me understand the people I am trying to help. The education I receive will teach me how to manage the funds of my organization as well as the best ways to distribute money and resources. A business education will teach me all the components and skills of managing a non-profit organization so that I can make it successful and beneficial to those who I am trying to help.

My experience in non-profit organizations has come from my involvement in the Board of Trustees at my mosque in Los Angeles, CA. For more than a year I have been working with my mother and a group of 7 trustees who manage and run all aspects of our mosque Jafaria Islamic Society. In the last year I helped to create the annual budget which totaled two hundred thousand dollars and helped fundraise at 4 major events through the year so that this budget could be met. I helped organize programs for various religious months and I arranged for speakers and reciters to come from India, Pakistan, New York, London, Atlanta, Houston, and other cities. In the recent year the trustees of the mosque decided that moving and purchasing a building in Orange County, Ca would better suit the needs of our growing community. I worked with the trustees to find and locate properties that met our needs and the usability we were looking for. Furthermore, I met with real estate personnel as well as city officials to figure out what codes and permits were necessary so that we could purchase a building and use it for religious gatherings. I feel that this experience has helped me a lot in understanding what make's up a non-profit organization and how the daily activities are run. The most valuable knowledge I gained from my work at the mosque was creating and managing an annual budget. It was very helpful to me because first hand I got to see what expenses and costs the mosque has for the year and how everything gets factored. This was a very valuable experience I had because I now have an understanding of how I may want to run my non-profit organization in the future.
lostskeptic 2 / 4  
Nov 29, 2009   #2
Question: Are you transferring to the UC system or are you a high school student?
OP arsenal924 1 / 1  
Nov 29, 2009   #3
i am transferring from a 2 year school
csicasiano 1 / 3  
Nov 29, 2009   #4
Hello Arsenal924,

I'm also transfering and I had some difficulty in responding to this prompt. You answer it clearly and affectively. The related numbers you provide for your time in the non-profit you have been working with is a nice touch. They show the scope and importance of your involvement in physical terms.

I do recommend though that you condense the first paragraph a bit. Also, the more you get into your interst and how it relates to your education the better. I've been getting advice about how it's important to say how your aspirations make you a good student.

Overall, this is a awesome responce. Good luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 30, 2009   #5
Comma:
I was born and raised in southern California , but I trace my roots back to my home country of Pakistan.

During a recent trip...

In a recent wake of radical movements and insurgencies many young kids are offered money and sometimes forced to join the growing Taliban that have begun to take over the country. so that they too can begin taking innocent lives. this sentence was too long and unwieldy.

I think you should split that long first para into 2 paragraphs and, at the end of the first one, write a thesis statement about wanting to start a nonprofit organization.


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