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USC SHORT ANSWER RESPONSE - "to study abroad"


jucks0r 3 / 6  
Jan 10, 2009   #1
# Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC.

Does my response answer the prompt ? this was the best I could come up with at 1AM please comment and help...
thanks

After finally deciding that I was to study abroad, I had to choose a career or at least a major at some point. My inclinations were towards engineering sciences, since I wasn't any good with literature or social studies. Being a do-a-bit-of-everything individual as I grew up, Industrial Engineering caught my attention as people pointed out to me that it was like several engineering majors combined together. I was mostly impressed by the rational way of thinking and looking at everything all the engineers seemed to have, and I for one was eager to have that rational view as a positive trait. USC has one of the nations best engineering programs and I certainly would like to be a part of it. In my first years, I plan to get an overall idea about engineering before deciding to specialize in a certain field, with the wide range of minors the university is offering. USC combines its strengths of liberal and professional learning in encouraging students to pursue their goals in diverse fields; an inspiring quality which I'm sure would guide me through college.
dooolele 3 / 15  
Jan 10, 2009   #2
your essay answers the prompt well. however i would suggest taking out negative things such as your weakness with lit and soc studies.
also, i think it would be good to take out the first sentence since it sounds like you were forced to choose engineering. (which is not a thing you want to mention in an admissions essay)
wongxy 14 / 53  
Jan 10, 2009   #3
since I wasn'twas not any good

Industrial Engineering : don't think you should capitalise those words

I'mI am sure

Yup I think you should take out that lit part too cuz it sounds like oh because I'm not good at those, and I have a bit of interest in engineering, that's why I'm going for engineering.

Other than that it looks okay :)
Baiwanyu 5 / 12  
Jan 11, 2009   #4
I do not think you answer "Describe your academic interests" well. The first 2 sentences are kind of redundant, it is like you have no choices but have to choose engineering. You may talk about what inquiries you had in daily life and how you loved research and lab works.
Linnus 6 / 89  
Jan 11, 2009   #5
You did answer the prompt, but your answer is weak.

"After finally deciding that I was to study abroad, I had to choose a career or at least a major at some point."

Useless sentence. It neither adds anything to your answer nor does it addresses the prompt.

"My inclinations were towards engineering sciences, since I wasn't any good with literature or social studies."

Also a pretty useless sentence. This is saying "I want to be an engineer because I'm bad at everything else."

"Being a do-a-bit-of-everything individual as I grew up, Industrial Engineering caught my attention as people pointed out to me that it was like several engineering majors combined together."

"do-a-bit-of-everything" should be replaced with a shorter word that conveys the same idea (it's late I can't think of one). "As people pointed out to you?" Did you research it to make sure it's true? If it is, then you don't even need to put "as people pointed out to you" if even they did, because it's wordy. Make it concise.

"I was mostly impressed by the rational way of thinking and looking at everything all the engineers seemed to have, and I for one was eager to have that rational view as a positive trait.

It is a lot of words that doesn't add much to the answer. Math, physics, chemistry, biology, literature analysis, and even philosophy all have a rational way of thinking. So why engineering?

"In my first years, I plan to get an overall idea about engineering before deciding to specialize in a certain field, with the wide range of minors the university is offering. USC combines its strengths of liberal and professional learning in encouraging students to pursue their goals in diverse fields; an inspiring quality which I'm sure would guide me through college."

You just said you wanted to do industrial engineering. Your short answer is contradicting.
What is "liberal and professional learning"?

Sorry for being so critical!

Good luck.
menamilad /  
Jan 11, 2009   #6
I agree with WONGXY...take out the negative things ..
good luck :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 11, 2009   #7
After finally deciding that I was to study abroad, I had to choose a career or at least a major at some point. My inclinations were tend toward engineering sciences, because I have always been intrigued by...

How about getting rid of that first sentence, too! Make it so that everything you say is powerful! Also, get specific about the resources you will use at this school.

:)


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