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USC's Department of Spanish and Portuguese ; USC-Academic Interest


candymare 1 / 1  
Nov 28, 2013   #1
I was hoping to get some feedback (any kind of feedback would be great) on my short answer essay for USC. I tried to be as specific as possible, but I am not sure if this is a great essay, hence why I need help please! Thank you in advance!

PROMPT: Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (250-word limit)

Ever since I volunteered abroad to Cajamarca, Peru this summer, I have become interested in helping others, as well as experiencing other cultures around the world. I yearn to learn more about other countries, like Brazil and Thailand, and their languages or their cultural traditions. In particular, after living with a host family in rural Peru for eight weeks, I have developed an affinity for the Spanish language and Latin American cultures. As a global university that enrolls the greatest number of foreign students, USC highly appeals to my interests with other languages and cultures. I am especially fascinated with the USC's Department of Spanish and Portuguese because it offers students the opportunity to fully develop professional skills with linguistics and the chance to study abroad in various Latin American countries. In addition, the Introduction to Hispanic Literature and Film class interests me because I am currently studying famous Hispanic writers in my higher level IB Spanish class and I would love to continue reading about Hispanic Literature. I am also intrigued with USC's Volunteer Center and its Alternative Break program; having facilitated a children's rights project in Peru this summer, I would be interested in joining the program at USC to learn more about children's issues and youth education. If accepted to USC, I would like to pursue a major in Spanish and a minor in international relations to collectively broaden my education and awareness of other countries and their languages.

Word Count: 242
yennhihoang 5 / 9  
Nov 28, 2013   #2
You show your good vocabulary, however, I think it may come off as trying hard. I think using more conversational vocabulary would be best. In particular, I don't think you should use the word "affinity," but otherwise you have good diction. Overall, I think it's really good! It's concise yet has all the right components!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 3, 2013   #3
Ever since I volunteered abroad to Cajamarca, Peru this summer, I have become interested in helping others, as well as experiencing other cultures around the world. I yearn to learn more about other countries, like Brazil and Thailand, and their languages or their cultural traditions. In particular, after living with a host family in rural Peru for eight weeks, I have developed an affinity for the Spanish language and Latin American cultures.

Well, your prompt is focused on Academic Interests and while I was reading the above section, I wasn't sure that whether they represent your academic interests. What is your major ? Spanish language? Whatever it is, I wish you made a clear connection between the field you are going to pursue at USC and how the program offered by the USC would help you achieve your academic goals.


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