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I used to live my life in a bubble. International Student First Topic of Common Application


calliope777 1 / 1  
Dec 9, 2014   #1
I used to live my life in a bubble.

I was diagnosed with severe asthma when I was just two years old. When I should have been in kindergarten playing hide-and-seek with other kids, I was actually sitting on a sickbed with a transfusion needle buried under my skin, with doctors coming and going. Growing up with very caring, but overprotective grandparents, the schedules set up by them lead me to become a timid child. According to my grandparents, when I was four, I could not even cross a 3-inch-wide tile joint without hesitating.

After entering primary school, I was no longer under close watch anymore; however I was still that kid who was once in the ICU, meaning I could not participate in any sports. Every semester I handed in a little piece of paper from my parents to the teacher, applying to be exempt from P.E. classes. My teacher would give me a look full of pity and let me sit on the rostrum in the gym or just have a walk around the playground by myself. I never thought living a "sports-free" life would be a problem, until 7th grade.

On the first P.E. class of junior high school, my new teacher informed us that we all had to take a P.E test in order to get into high school. I was stunned - what about my asthma? Was the privilege on the rostrum gone forever? And most importantly - how was I going to make it? I was caught up worrying about everything while my teacher was already leading us to the track to begin the class. Not wanting to be a weird new kid, I stepped on the track nervously imitating others' behaviors. Breathing was hard at first. Yet somehow I got used to it real soon. Then after a brief warm-up, I felt like suddenly the bubble which had been covering me for years and dragging me away from a bunch of things I yearned for, had broken. During the whole class, I was just like everyone else, sweating and breaking limits.

Sometimes you have the chance to open a door towards a new life with a key found by accident. My key was that class. I felt like I had received my own super power. To catch up with others, I trained half an hour every day after school. Every day the burning inside my lungs decreased; my confidence increased. Not long after, I was the top runner in my class in the 800 meter race. While I enjoyed the sound of wind blowing by my ears during running, my life was changing - the shy girl who stayed on her seat during every break just to avoid meeting strangers was gone forever. I discovered a different self. As I was standing on the stage hosting a gala and speaking out the lines I had written, with a graceful smile on my face, I could feel the surprise from the old me; when I was running around founding an animation club, I could see the old me frowning. However, I finally could look the old me in the eye and tell her: "I have begun to live my life."
orian2014 3 / 3  
Dec 10, 2014   #2
Not wanting to be a weird new kid, I stepped on the track nervously imitating others' behaviors.

Not wanting to be a the weird new kid, I stepped on the track nervously and tried to imitate the others' behaviors.

The sentence above is the only one I would tweak a little. Still, I believe your writing is incredibly interesting and proves you like to work hard and push yourself. Either way, I'm an applicant just like you so I'd wait for somebody else's opinion. But great job.
OP calliope777 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2014   #3
Thank you very much for your opinion:)


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