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Using Intelligence in a professional manner; College App/ Stanford Intellectual Vitality

punkiebell17 7 / 11 4  
Oct 17, 2013   #1
Please help me with this essay. Any comments on grammar and structure. Anything? Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, honesty is important in this case. I feel like it is terribly written and might be confusing to some readers...hopefully not.Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. (250 word limit.)*

An experience that has made me think of myself as an intellectual like no other, is the experience I have been given through work. Having a job at a restaurant may not sound like an intellectual job at all, but I consider it very intellectual.

An intellectual person to me is someone who uses their intelligence in a very professional manner. Whether it is for the inquiry or reasoning of a concept, I feel like I do that every time I inquire over a customer.

I often get to wondering, why some customers get flustered more than others over a hamburger that they ordered a certain way, and they receive it made the wrong way. Some customers will eat the food anyway, and others will make a big commotion over it. I want to understand why they react so differently. I want to understand that psychology between people and the love of perfection in their food.

Furthermore, in the inquiry of how my customers think I have learned the value of customer service. It becomes part of a profession to treat others well, and how to deal with the challenges they bring. It is like an in depth sociology, because I see the difference between the behavior of a horde of customers and the behavior of just two customers.

It may not be intellectually satisfying to learn how to deal with people's problems to most, but to me it is important because it has developed my character intellectually.

Thank you in advance.

kaylatruong 1 / 5  
Oct 19, 2013   #2
The essay does not explain why working at a restaurant developed your character intellectually. The customer service part only explained that you learned to be nice to people. Be more in depth with how you explain it too.

Could you help me with mine too?

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