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UVA: My Dreams - Discuss your favorite place to get lost.


xoreverie 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2010   #1
This is my first draft, so can someone please leave me some helpful feedback/comments about my essay? This is my last one and I'm done. Help is greatly appreciated! :)

*****

I know of a place that only I can enter. It is best accessed when I'm in the comfort of my own bed, resting between the sheets. As I close my eyes, within a matter of minutes or perhaps hours, my mind creates a world shaped by my thoughts and aspirations. During the late hours of the night, up until sunrise, I am lost in my own dreams.

One night, usually Monday nights after watching Gossip Girl, I may live the life of Blair Waldorf, "the queen bee of Manhattan's Upper East Side" and the girl with a wardrobe that's to die for. Other nights I dream of roaming the streets of Paris in search of my true love, or becoming a world-renowned doctor that discovered the cure for cancer. Some nights I dream realistically - I dream of my future, my family, my friends. When I get lost in a dream like that, I wake up with hope that it will become reality.

In my dreams, there's nothing for me to fear or worry about. I can dream of the impossible, the attainable, and everything in between. But once the sun rises and the light flickers through the curtains onto my face, I am no longer lost.

amjeezy 5 / 18  
Dec 31, 2010   #2
really nice essay. i would not change much except instead of "i wake up with hope that it will become reality" i would make it sound more determined. like you wake up inspired to make them a reality. because when you say "hope" it sounds like you wont do anything about it but your gonna wish it happens


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