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UVA- What is your favorite word and why- Coherence


sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #1
I have not finished yet. I'm in a bit of a bunch and I don't know where to go from here. Please critique what I do have and suggestions for additions are much needed! Thanks!

Simply the definition of the word is what most people seek in life. It is what makes an argument reputable. It gives a written composition flow and it is what I have organized my life around. Coherence, from the Latin prefix "co" meaning together and the Latin root "haerere" meaning to cling, means literally "to cling together". Conventionally, however, it means logically ordered and consistent or having overall clarity. Coherence is unique of the infinite number of words in the English language in that it applies to me personally as I constantly strive to incorporate order and simplicity into my life. From the moment I knew what a list was, I made them frequently, detailing the things I needed to do and scheduling how to accomplish them in the most efficient manner. I have always valued simplicity and rationale in all aspects of my life, be it how I organize my clothing or how I approach writing an essay.

biggly 1 / 7  
Dec 27, 2010   #2
Hi, I think this is a solid idea. I'm a little confused as to why people seek the definition of "coherence". People may seek coherence, but I'm not sure they'd seek the definition of coherence. Maybe you can clarify that?

I would reword things to make it flow better.

Conventionally, however, it meansTo be coherent is to be logically ordered and consistent.

" Coherence" is unique in the English language ...

From the moment I knew what a list was, I made them frequently,I make frequent lists, detailing the things I needed to do and scheduling how to accomplish them in the most efficient manner. I have always valued simplicity and rationale in all aspects of my life , be it how I organize my clothing or how I approach writing an essay.

Good luck!
OP sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #3
Thank you for your comments! Do you have any suggestions on additions I could make? I need to wrap this up and conclude.
Ninjawesome 1 / 1  
Dec 27, 2010   #4
Here's what I'm getting:
-You like the word coherence because the word applies to you and the way you like having things ordered and simple.

"Simply the definition of a word is what most people seek in life."
-If you say "the word" it seems as though there is a set word everyone is looking for.

Revision of biggly's revision: "I make lists frequently "
-"frequent lists" would mean that the lists are frequent rather than the idea that you make lists frequently.

I'd stick with "Conventionally, however, it means..."
-This gives the reader the notion that the conventional definition is different from the literal definition.

I'm struggling to find a way you could add something, but as a suggestion may I suggest wrapping the response up with a sentence using "coherence" again? Towards the end it seems like you're deviating from the prompt. Again, this is if you feel that you still need something. Otherwise, it sounds great!
OP sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #5
Thank you! I feel it certainly needs a concluding sentence and it is a bit on the short side for a 250 word essay. As for the first sentence, what I'm trying to do is hint at the word without saying it. I was trying to state that coherence is what many people seek in life but I am having trouble stating it correctly. Suggestions?
OP sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #6
UVA- What is your favorite word and why- Coherence

In its simplest form it is what many people seek to achieve in life. It is what makes an argument reputable. It gives a written composition flow and it is what I have organized my life around. Coherence, from the Latin prefix "co" meaning together and the Latin root "haerere" meaning to cling, means literally "to cling together". Conventionally, however, coherence means logically ordered and consistent or having overall clarity. Coherence is unique of the infinite words in the English language in that it applies to me personally. Constantly striving to incorporate order and simplicity into my life I make lists frequently, detailing the things I need to do and scheduling how to accomplish them in the most efficient manner. I have always valued simplicity and rationale in all aspects of my life, be it how I organize my clothing or how I approach writing an essay.
OP sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #7
I am not finished in the least bit. I need to conclude and perhaps add a little more. Any suggestions on what I should include? Thanksss
rajsmooth23 3 / 4  
Dec 27, 2010   #8
You could perhaps add a specific encounter that describes why that word is your favorite.
ailibai 8 / 21  
Dec 27, 2010   #9
I really like your approach to this. I don't know about the word requirement, but I don't think you need to add too much more to make it a complete and coherent thought. (See what I did there?)

"Constantly striving to incorporate order and simplicity into my life I make lists frequently, detailing the things I need to do and scheduling how to accomplish them in the most efficient manner."

This sentence is awkward; maybe break it up?

Maybe you could add something about how the idea of coherence influences your world view in addition to your personal life?
OP sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #10
Thank you for all your ideas! This is wonderful. And yes, I did see what you did there :p
bbish520 8 / 30  
Dec 28, 2010   #11
This word is what makes an argument reputable.

Coherence is the word that makes an argument reputable.

be specific is always good to not create any confusion to your readers
aiswim 4 / 28  
Dec 28, 2010   #12
I really like this essay. I think you did a great job of describing what "coherence" means to you as well. The only *minor* problem I have with it is that I wish it had a really powerful ending sentence. I don't think you should repeat the prompt by saying it's your favorite word. It would be perfect if you could finish it off with a lot of zing, that really leaves the reader impressed.

But besides that, good work and good luck!
OP sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 29, 2010   #13
UVA- What is your favorite word and why- Coherence

Coherence is what makes an argument reputable. It gives any written composition flow. In its simplest form, it is what many people seek to achieve and it is what I have organized my life around. Coherence, from the Latin prefix "co" meaning together and the Latin root "haerere" meaning to cling, literally means "to cling together". Conventionally, however, to be coherent is to be logically ordered and consistent, or to have overall clarity. Coherence is unique among the innumerable words of the English language in that it has particular significance to me. Striving to incorporate simplicity and order into my life, I make lists and organize religiously. Every morning I wake to the view of the whiteboard near my bed, covered by an array of color coded lists detailing the things I need to accomplish. As I prepare to dress for the day, I find all of my clothes neatly hung and categorized in my closet. Reaching for my backpack, I observe all of the books and folders needed for the school day neatly aligned and in order by size. I have always valued simplicity and rationality in all aspects of my life, be it how I organize my clothing or how I approach writing an essay. This value of coherence has given transparency to my life, allowing for efficiency and less stress in all that I do. Keeping coherence in mind, I will be able to conquer any obstacle I may face in the future.
plittplatt11 5 / 29  
Dec 29, 2010   #14
Good points!

I think you should clarify (or make more coherent (; ) this sentence: "..I make lists and organize religiously." Right here you should clarify - what are you organizing? I think it may make it flow a little beter. I like your use of participial phrases, it helps to tell the story! Other than my note, I like this!
Pcheeves - / 4  
Dec 29, 2010   #15
I like the word choice very much. However, I feel you should somehow introduce your word at the beginning of your essay. Your topic sentence is a little lacking. I do appreciate how you tell how the word applies to you. You show them that you are organized and responsible. Your style of writing shows very strict organization as well. Overall, a good essay.
asdfasdf 2 / 4  
Dec 29, 2010   #16
I have always valued simplicity and rationality in all aspects of my life, be it how I organize my clothing or how I approach writing an essay.

I think you should use a different word instead of "be it". It sounded a little awkward to me.
And I agree with the others in that you should change the topic sentence.
But overall, I really enjoyed reading your essay.

Goodluck!


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