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UVa- grammar errors- "Being a moderate Muslim is no easy"


arghuman82 5 / 13  
Jan 2, 2009   #1
I come from a fairly religious background. Being a moderate Muslim is no easy task. Pray 5 times a day, fast from dawn to dusk for a month, and maintain a Halal diet. Consistently maintaining all of these requirements is difficult at times, however, it has become a perpetually habituated routine of mine. Clearly, the most important piece of literature associated with the Islamic religion is the Quran.

The Quran is arguably the most controversial religious book of them all. How am I to interpret it? For starters, it is in a dialect completely foreign to me, yet, if I look to translate it on my own, religious leaders will bash my efforts, and say it's unholy for me to gain meaning and understanding through an English translation. As science and reason have come to rule the domain of this generation, it is clear that progression often clashes with the teachings of the Quran. Which should I believe science or faith? Other questions also arise. How is it appropriate for husbands to have multiple wives? How are Islamic extremists able to directly cite the Quran to support their atrocious actions?

For the most part, I live my life by this book's teachings (at least what those around me have interpreted the teachings to be). This book has unsettled me for many reasons. The life I have come to live is based upon a book, this Holy book that over a billion of the world have now come to live their lives by. I need to make a choice. Should I ignorantly live my life by a book my parents and all those around me have interpreted it to mean? Or better yet, maybe I should just drop my faith, after all, these suicide bombers, and ruthless dictators also abide by the teachings of this book.

I think instead of taking either route, I must educate myself. Take initiative and gain an in-depth knowledge of the Quran's teachings. It isn't right for me to abandon my faith because a select few have construed it to mean something completely contradictory of what it intended to mean. However, this also means that I cannot sit back and be a slave to the interpretations those around me have made for me. What I must do to properly understand the Quran, as what I must do in all things that lie ahead. The Quran is a challenge, but that doesn't mean it cannot be broken down and understood, just like every other challenge I face in life.

thelindsay16 - / 6  
Jan 2, 2009   #2
This is very well written but I do not know the prompt so I am not sure If you have answered the question.

I really do not see anything that needs to be cut out or and errors =]
r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 2, 2009   #3
I also don't see anything that needs to be cut out. However, I think you might want to elaborate a little bit more on this part (more on the wives part than the second part though):

Other questions also arise. How is it appropriate for husbands to have multiple wives? Defend your opinion here maybe? Say why you disagreeHow are Islamic extremists able to directly cite the Quran to support their atrocious actions? Maybe give a short example- that would be kind of interesting, and then you can explain why their interpretation may be inacurrate/incorrect?

But really, your essay is very clear, and is a nice topic also.
OP arghuman82 5 / 13  
Jan 2, 2009   #4
Thanks guys, the limit is "roughly" 250 words and im at 400 =(, i hope they dont mind

Prompt is: College of Arts and Sciences: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
thelindsay16 - / 6  
Jan 2, 2009   #5
Well you need to cut out some words if the limit is around 250. Maybe take out some of the rhetorical questions, that could shorten it down some what =]
r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 2, 2009   #6
Okay, nevermind don't add that in lol. Here is what you might want to take out:

I come from a fairly religious background. - may become obvious when you start reading anyways

Consistently maintaining all of these requirements is difficult at times, however, it has become a perpetually habituated routine of mine. Clearly, the most important piece of literature associated with the Islamic religion is the Quran.

The most significant book of Islam is the Quran, arguably the most controversial religious books of all time. How am I to interpret it? For starters, it is in a dialect completely foreign to me, yet, if I look to translate it on my own, religious leaders will bash my efforts, and say it's unholy for me to gain meaning and understanding through an English translation.

I think Instead of taking either route, I must educate myself, take initiative and gain an in-depth knowledge of the Quran's teachings. It isn't right for me to abandon my faith because a select few have construed it to mean something completely contradictory of what it intended to mean. However, this also means that I cannot sit back and be a slave to the interpretations those around me have made for me . What I must do to properly understand the Quran, as what I must do inAs for all things that lie ahead, the Quran is a challenge, but that doesn't mean it cannot be broken down and understood, just like every other challenge I face in life.
keyurjain21 4 / 12  
Jan 2, 2009   #7
'Halal' diet...give them a translation if possible.

and maintain a Halal diet. Consistently maintaining all of these requirements is difficult at times,...you're repeating the word maintaining!! look for synonyms

Rest seems fine for now !

You can't exceed your limit, because when you upload it on the net...only 250 words will be taken...the rest will be deleted out i guess...( learnt from Rutgers online application)

Hope that helps Abdul!

Cya
OP arghuman82 5 / 13  
Jan 2, 2009   #8
Wait, Im uploading the document, so I think I can get away with it being over the limit. Its not like a character box, like my nyu app was
sk8rgal666 2 / 27  
Jan 2, 2009   #9
Good Luck, it shouldn't take too long though =/
keyurjain21 4 / 12  
Jan 2, 2009   #10
Okay ...but anyways you're not following the guidelines.. LOL !...
OP arghuman82 5 / 13  
Jan 2, 2009   #11
how so, i explain how it has unsettled me...and how I plan to benefit from the effects of this book on my perception of th very lifestyle i live
keyurjain21 4 / 12  
Jan 2, 2009   #12
no..wat i mean is if dat college isn't lenient on word count...ur essay won't count or maybe somthin like dat..
my counselor told me all this ...i don't really know!...i don't really trust him..but yah somewhat..but i prefer getting my essays getting corrected out here at EF..

anyways ..wait for a reply from a moderator..preferable
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jan 4, 2009   #13
Consistently maintaining all of these requirements is difficult at times; however, it has become a perpetual habituated routine of mine for me. Clearly, the most important piece of literature associated with the Islamic religion is the Quran. Now end this first paragraph with a sentence that tells what main point you are going to make in this essay. What is the main idea?

Then, restate that main idea at the end. All the content in the middle is good, but put it within the framework of a thesis sentence at the end of the first paragraph and a conclusion at the end. The intro and conclusion should capture the main theme.


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