UVA Super short supplement-Pulchritude is my favorite word.

Hey guys,so the promt was: What is your favorite word and why?
This is pretty last minute,so not exactly my best work. Feel free to be as critical as possible. I dont mind starting over=]
Thanks in advance!
ps,the word limit is 250 but i was only at 170. Im kinda stuck on what to include in the end,so any help with that would be great.

Essay:
Pulchritude-the word I stumbled across when I began to create SAT flashcards towards the end of my junior year. Upon first hearing it, one would think that it must mean something truly hideous; maybe some kind of ancient demonic creature or crude, immoral remark. After searching for its definition I soon learned that Pulchritude actually meant physical beauty, which is quite the opposite of what one would suspect. In a sense, I believe the oddness of this word is what makes it my favorite. Pulchritude, a word that sounds harsh and raw when spoken, is actually one of beauty. I, like the word pulchritude, am not what I seem to be. With my baby face and short stature, from a single glance one would assume I am reserved, quiet, and cautious by nature. But on the contrary, when one looks deeper they soon discover that I love to talk, laugh, and meet new people. I have goals, dreams, strengths, and weaknesses-all contributing to the unique person that i am.

The word pulchritude means physical beauty, but you go on an talk about your inward traits. You might want to rearrange your essay to fit the definition of your word. I mean do get where you are going with your essay, but how you define yourself is not consistent with pulchride's actual meaning, unless you want it's meaning to be just "beauty."

Yusra

Nicely done, and quite an unexpected word choice might I add.
Only one thing that I think would make this essay phenomenal. The last sentence doesn't really fit at all and I think it would be better if you deleted it completely. Instead you can probably make more of a link to the definition of pulchritude at first glance was ugly but actually means beauty to yourself. Not sure if that makes much sense.

Hope this helps! If you don't mind could you check out my common app. Luxury VS. Struggle essay. Thanks!

Strawberry78- Actually,what i was trying to get across was rather than the actual definition of pulchritude,its the fact that its definition isnt what would be expected is what relates to me. I guess ill try to convey that better=]

Zhoe- Thanks! Ill work on that.

Yusra

I got exactly what you were trying to portray and I think it is pretty clear, but maybe you can transition better. No problem.

Okay thanks,will do. Is there anything else i should add?

Yusra

Much better. The ending was more pow. Maybe you could elaborate more, it feels like its missing something still. (not sure of what it is though)

Just a few suggestions:



Like the word pulchritude, there is more to me than meets me eye.
(I know sort of cliche, but...)


At first glance, my baby face and short stature belies(or 'gives the impression') that I am reserved, quiet and cautious by nature.


This is the part that I have a problem with. but and on the contrary seems to me to be redundant.
On the contrary, I love to talk, laugh and meet new people.


not anticipated and come as a surprise is basically saying the same thing.

While my personality may come as a pleasant surprise when one firsts takes in my appearance, it contributes divinely to the pulchritude of my individuality.

Hope this helps!