intensions
Spelling error - the word is "intentions"
I am very fun to be around guy. My friends always jest that even if I were on an uninhabited island, after some time trees would speak to me and laugh because of my jokes. As you might already understand, I am a person who does not like to sit at home in front of the TV or waste the time on social networking sites. I prefer real communication, and I always try to surround myself with the folks and friends, share ideas with them and just have fun. Having fun is important; however,in relation to studywhen I study, I try to be diligent and hardworking.
The fact that you are fun is good enough when communicating your personality. Fun people are fun to be around. End the sentence with a
period . Corrected minor grammatical errors. I didn't already understand that you were a person who does not like to sit at home, so you should delete that particular cause. That clause serves no purpose too - just go straight to your point. I assume you are referring to online social networks, so I edited the sentence to reflect that. Your existing sentence could reference any type of human interaction. "Friends" should be satisfactory to communicate which type of people you like to share ideas with. I included the proper format for a sentence utilizing "however", and I made your clause involving studying better.
"Life is too short to waste it for no reason"
Eliminate the comma.
I do not mean that I do only things that can be helpful to me, moreover I even hate selfishness in actions, I just want to say that I always think before I do and usually it helps me a lot.
Eliminate this sentence. It does not fit well with your previous sentence and you've already established that you are a good person.
I gained a lot of benefits from training sports: I developed a sense of discipline, cultivated a strong will and found out what it cost to win.
Include a colon when introducing ideas.
I also admire my trainer who formed firm ideology in my head and which I follow day in and day out. Because of his/her advice, I live life without alcohol or cigarettes.
I broke up this idea into two sentences to make the overall idea flow better. I included 'because of his/her advice" because it states that you live life without alcohol or cigarettes because of the advice of your trainer. The sentence revision better credits him or her.
The population of Uzbekistan is famous in Central Asia for its hospitality and sense of respect for co-workers, and neighbors, and older people. Beginning at childhood, each citizen is taught to value those things. In my case My sister always kids with me, saying that my children will be the happiest kids in the world. The reason for such conclusions occurred 1 year ago, when I gathered 3 of my friends who also studied English, and we went to orphanage located in our district. There were a lot of kids who looked so upset (actually they should be understood), we told the mentor that we wanted to give English lessons to the orphans. Both the children and the workers of the orphanage were happy. We visited them three times a week for almost one year.During the lessons, which were both interactive and educational, kids laughed, read funny texts, listened to music and looked so happy that we did not want to leave them.They felt as if they were part ofas a big family with parents, brothers and sisters. I am most proud of this time in my life because I realized how strongly I love children.I know that volunteering in the US is not new term, As an exchange student, I would really like to help young members of our society develop to become worthy people . In addition, I will be pleased if you, my roommate, accompany me in this activity.
Not sure what you mean by "new term". "Really" is overused. I replaced "little" with young in order to indicate age rather than size.
Even though I am only 19, I have two strong principles: one of them is not to miss the opportunities given to me, and the other is to always try not to disappoint the people who believe in me.
I utilized a colon again to introduce ideas. I changed "believed" to present tense in order to indicate that you are trying not to disappoint people who currently believe in you, not previously believed in you.
Overall Notes - Your essay really shows who you are as a person. You have set out a plan for your life (helping children), and you have communicated how you spend your time. I've established that you are a very traditional kind of person - you like face-to-face conversation, and you like to help children. Both of these items are excellent to possess. I don't think you need to add more content, you just need to fix some minor errors which I have outlined to you.Good luck with your application!
