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Vassar Supplement Essay - My Hogwarts


pothepanda3 3 / 5  
Dec 15, 2011   #1
HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT VASSAR AND WHAT ASPECTS OF OUR COLLEGE DO YOU FIND APPEALING?

There is one thing in life which I really awaited: my eleventh birthday. But not because I was going to get the dirt bike I'd always wanted or because my parents were planning on throwing me a huge surprise; but for something greater. I knew the probability was almost zero but I still hoped it would arrive: my letter from Hogwarts.

I'm seventeen today and now that I look back at this incident it seems almost funny, the epitome of naivety. How childish I was almost makes me laugh. I've come a long way since then but what has not changed is how the magical world Harry Potter or anything remotely related to it still enthralls me. I've grown up hearing terms like wands and broomsticks which sound like gibberish to my own grandmother. So just another day I was procrastinating, the internet being my usual partner in crime. Ironically, I was supposed to be looking through colleges and I randomly stumbled upon a Vassar newsletter. And there it was - the Butterbeer Brewers - Vassar's own Qudditch team. I was extremely surprised but thoroughly amused at the same time. I was startled and I become more inquisitive about Vassar. And then seeing the abstract paintings on Vassar's homepage is what really what got my interest in Vassar going. It showed me the kind of free-spirited yet intellectually driven student Vassar embodies.

Vassar for me today is like Hogwarts was for me as a child. The beauty of Hudson Valley and Vassar's majestic campus spanning over 1000 acres and more than 100 buildings has enchanted me ever since I first saw images of it. If Hogwarts upheld the values of dispensing knowledge to all, regardless of their association with a magical or a non-magical family, then Vassar has taken it to an entirely next level with its appreciative environment towards everyone regardless of their ethnicity or sexual orientation. The closely knit community structure makes you feel as if Vassar is home. The myriad sporting opportunities offered, the huge collection of academic and literary works in the library, the artistic endeavors which the art center propagates or simply the list of respectable alumnae, there is not one thing about Vassar which doesn't leave me spell-bound.

The letter from Hogwarts was the one thing in my life that I highly anticipated. I guess there will be another thing in my life which I will highly anticipate: the letter from Vassar.
namato 7 / 16  
Dec 16, 2011   #2
Hi there pothepanda3,

Firstly, thank you for commenting on my Columbia essay :):)

Your essay is wonderfully written and without a doubt very unique. However, I feel (and this is just my opinion) that you have committed the same mistake that numerous college applicants make: you have not mentioned why you are a good fit for Vassar. Even though the prompt asks you to mention what aspects of Vassar you find appealling ( and you have done this very well by the way), I think you also have to try and fit in why these particular features are a match for your personality. For example, you talk about the Vassar being a multicultural and multiethnic community; perhaps you could also include just how much diversity means to you and so on..

By doing so, I think that you would have answered the prompt in a more powerful manner.

P.S Dont forget to add a sentence or two about what you will add to the Vassar community.

Otherwise, brilliant work :):)
Good luck to you.


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