Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


Vast amounts traditions, extracurricular activities, and research opportunities; reasons for apply


3mcs1dj 1 / -  
Oct 19, 2014   #1
Hello, here is my first draft for Madison's second personal statement: Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, share with us the academic, extracurricular, or research opportunities you would take advantage of as a student. If applicable, provide details of any circumstance that could have had an impact on your academic performance and/or extracurricular involvement.

When I toured the University of Wisconsin-Madison's campus this past summer, I was absolutely astonished by the school. Prior to arriving, I was rather speculative about applying for admission because of its distance from my Minnesota home and its intimidating class sizes. While I was touring the campus, all these worries simply slipped away and I felt right at home. I learned of the wonderful history and traditions that accompany the university and felt that was something I wanted to be a part of. Whether it is marching under the direction of the infamous Mike Leckrone, battling over Bascom Hill in the Battle for Bascom Snowball Fight, or linking arms with the student body in a singing of Varsity, I knew this was the college I wanted to attend. It would be an absolute honor to contribute to the rich history that Madison is comprised of.

While the history and traditions of Madison are enticing in of itself, the leading factor in my decision to apply is the vast expanse of extracurricular activities and research opportunities that the University of Wisconsin-Madison has to offer. Being highly involved in music here at my high school, many of the extracurricular activities I would partake in would also involve music. This would include being committed to the University of Wisconsin Marching Band, as well as some of the university's band ensembles and jazz ensembles, all of which require large amounts of time outside of class. Other alluring extracurricular opportunities that I would very much take advantage of would be Madison's large variety of First-Year Interest Groups. Utilizing this selection of extracurricular activities is of great importance because it can help me meet people of similar interests, as well as provide various leadership roles to develop needed leadership experience.

The large amount of research opportunities that the University of Wisconsin-Madison offers and how well it correlates with my intended major of biology is another factor that helped develop my interest in applying here. When finding information on the universities science program, I found that in the major of biology, the University of Wisconsin-Madison was ranked 18th in the country. This was of major interest to me because I knew that this school would provide great opportunities for me in the future and would greatly help develop my career. With a biology related major and eventually being part of a graduate program of a similar field, I can use the many opportunities of research that Madison offers. With a career research I hope to uncover evidence that can be proven beneficial to both the medical and biological communities.

The vast amounts traditions, extracurricular activities, and research opportunities are the main reasons as to why I had decided to apply for admission to the University of Wisconsin-Madison and why I feel Madison is the best fit for me.

I'd love to hear your feedback!
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 19, 2014   #2
Tyler, you seem too focused on the extra curricular activities of Madison. There is no balance between your extra curricular and academic interests. My advice, would be to strengthen a certain part of your essay as i point out below.

- You need to be very specific in this portion of your statement. Don't tell them about being ranked 18th in the country. They already know how fantastic their university is. Instead, talk about your future major and what programs or internships they offer that you will be taking full advantage of. Place the same kind of enthusiasm that you have for their extra curricular activities into the discussion of your academic concentration.


Home / Undergraduate / Vast amounts traditions, extracurricular activities, and research opportunities; reasons for apply
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳