Hi everyone, this is my common app short answer and can someone help me proofread it? I really have no ideas how to shorten it down since I am exceeding the limit by 50 words...
Please give your comments and me shorten it. THANKS A LOT!!
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).
My leadership potential was sparked during my freshman year at Southeast University, China, where I joined English Corner and was elected the vice Minister. At first I realized that, as a leader, the first thing one should do is to build trust among team members; I held parties for my club through which everyone became united. During the preparation period for an activity, I worked on designing a plan, taking successive team meetings in which we discussed how this activity should flow. Also, I was responsible for instructing new team members to handle difficult tasks like hosting and decorating. During the activities I was in charge of directing each team member, and it was through solving emergent issues that my ingenuity as a leader was largely enhanced. Among our club activities stood out an English song singing competition-Musical Night in which we invited both students and faculties to attend. It turned out to be the most successful club activity I had ever organized.
Without a doubt, my leadership experience in English Corner at Southeast University was well worth. Not only did I obtain the essential qualities of a good leader: dedication, reliability and productivity, but also my enthusiasm and knowledge as a leader was significantly enriched.
All feedbacks are welcome, thanks!!
hi.
since you are trying to limit your word use, instead of saying :
I held parties for my club through which everyone became united
you could say :
group activities helped unite us.
and also instead of saying :
I worked on designing a plan, taking successive team meetings in which we discussed how this activity should flow
you could say:
designing a plan was challenging,but by taking everyone's opinion into consideration during meetings made the activity easier.
these are just suggestions.i'm just trying to help so tell me if you disagree or would like more help :D
Without a doubt, my leadership experience in English Corner at Southeast University was well worth it .
Sorry I don't know how to make it shorter. Please read my essay, Thanks!
I think you're essay has a very good idea behind it and that u should just try to rephrase it better if u can.
I have edited some stuff in the middle, mainly adding commas or changing words. Thanks a lot for looking at my essay and i would be very thankful if u look at the other essay.
