Calloused fingertips meet the metal string. The perfect balance and harmony can only be found in this split second. Beginning with a G-major scale, pure concentration and style resonates - it is a musical phenomenon. Not perfection, but synergy.
Imagine your favorite piece bouncing off the walls and into your eardrums. Synergy only occurs on stage when everyone's heart and energy is poured into their music. This phenomenon only occurs when the creation of the whole is greater than each individual part. Each time I shift my fingers on the fingerboard, there is a sense of unity. To produce a melodic tune, there is an imaginary beam of light connected from me, to my stand partner, to the entire orchestra, to the baton and moves simultaneously.
With each precise bow stroke, I feel a sense of euphoria. At a flick of my wrist, the excitement of my blood crescendos through my veins. It is as if there is nothing in the entire world besides the entire orchestra and me. It is almost like the fate of the world depends on the first note of the piece. After each piece the tension is lifted, but my brain continues to worry about the next piece. At first, failure always seems imminent. Trying to stay focused causes my brain scream for mercy. As time progresses maintaining focus becomes second nature. With everyone doing their part, I begin to feel like our orchestra is invincible.
Only being apart of an orchestra can test your physical and mental limits so intensely. Only in an orchestra can every part of your brain can be activated. Only in an orchestra can bring together a mixed group of students and be equally united.
While just being a violinist, there are more than a million things to be kept track of. It not is limited to playing together, with balance and listening to each section's individual part. However, these things are learned through experience, where each time you practice, there is always one thing you can take away from it. Nevertheless, there are always new things to learn about, whether it is learning what dolce means or remembering to decrescendo at the correct measure. It is also a commitment. As the second violin section leader and the president, it is a tool for self-discovery and experimentation with my potential. On the surface, listing my achievements and contributions sounds simple. However, the complexities of these positions are eventually revealed. Ultimately, I develop a better understanding of a piece and where I need to improve as a leader.
At the end of the day I carefully open my case to put away my violin. Loosening my bow and wiping down the strings, I noticed the calluses on four of my fingers, formed from shifting on the fingerboard for so many years. Even outside of the orchestra room, I had never been concerned about it before. It was something that would never go away. As I continue to stare at it, it reminds me that it will always be an emblem of music's importance to me. It reminds me that I will be moments away from my last performance and in return be replaced with my dedication towards my future.
Anna, as I read this essay, the first question that comes to my mind is "Are you a music major?" If so, what is the message that you really want to deliver in the personal statement? What university are you applying to? Has the university provided you with a topic statement for the personal essay?
You have written an involving essay that takes the reader deep into your psyche as a member of an orchestra and yet, I have no idea of what kind of journey you are trying to take me on. Why have you written the essay this way? What is the purpose behind it? What I am trying to say is that in order to properly tell if this is an effective personal statement, we need to know your background relating to what your course major is, what university you are applying to, and (if possible) what the requirements of the personal statement are.
This is a well developed and presented essay. However, I have some concerns that leave me wondering if the essay is applicable to the instances I previously mentioned. Can you offer some clarifications so that we can better review your statement?
