For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" (...) Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
I dont know, if im going to add more or what?
This is like 200 words and the word limit is 500.
Short and Sweet?
Help!
One three letter word can mean so much. Can you guess it? My beautiful daschund DOG? RAD, the word for "cool" in my hometown beach community? How about the three letter word ART? In more specific terms FASHION. FASHION IS MY ART. "Artes" reflects my life the most because my life is fulfilled with art. I love the effect fashion has on people. A beautiful black dress can make someone feel spectacular and worth it all in matter of the slip of the dress. If I want attention, I can wear extravagant heels or bold prints. It relates to my attitude and my feelings. Every day of my high school career was a fashion show. Some days I was annoyed and aggravated by my parent's rules or the struggle with school, so wearing black made me feel fine. Sometimes when I felt pretty and was wearing a "new" outfit, I became adventurous and a go-getter. Life is what you make it, or wear. Fashion is intertwined with everything, in a crowd of the most outrageous fans to the skyline of downtown. This is why I keep my eyes and mind open to new places and things. I'm ready to open my eyes and mind to Florida State University.
I can hardly believe it: A "Vires, Artes, Mores" essay that isn't a labor to read. I suspect that if you keep it short and lively like this, the admissions folks will like you for it. Still, you may want to add just a sentence or two telling us in more detail what you do and hope to do with fashion. (Design? Sew? Market? What?)
Yes, you have an interesting introduction, and have not wasted our time telling us what Vires, Mores, and Artes mean, which is good, because the prompt already tells us. As a result, your essay is already far ahead of most of the others we have seen posted here on this topic. The main problem with this essay at the moment is that all it tells us about you is that you are passionate about fashion. This, in and of itself, does not mean that you will be a good student who does well and contributes to the university atmosphere. So, you need to take Simone's advice, and show the relevance of your passion to your application.
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH !!!!!!
do you think the introduction is dumb?
i wanted something different and i think it will get there attention????!!!!
i ADDED THE SENTENCE:
In my field of study, I hope to excel and contribute to the university my ideas about fashion through marketing and studying my surroundings for further fashion forwardness.
I don't quite think you answered the prompt. I submitted my fsu essay and the format was pretty simple.
1.a very short if not one sentence introduction stating which of the three words apply to you and perhaps a few details to expand upon in the other paragraphs.
2.take each word and expand upon how it pertains to you, and make each its own paragraph. Maybe you can mesh it into one but I'm not a great writer.
3. optional I suppose, but I'm so formulaic I wrote a conclusion about how the words will further my goals at FSU.
hope these suggestions help, and you should search this website for other FSU application essays to get some inspiration.
I don't like how you capitalize fashion is my art. There's no real purpose in doing that. And personally, I'm a fan of your introduction...
And the prompt is questioning for a more meaning theme. Pick a different topic, something that is reflected in your life.
Thanks for the constructive critiscm but i want my essay to be different than everyone elses. thanks though!
