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"Vires, Artes, Mores" are my guiding philosophies - FSU 2010 Essay Topic


raqueldianna 1 / -  
Nov 24, 2010   #1
Prompt: The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

What else could I include in my essay to make it stand out from the other students' essays? Have I gone into enough detail to let the reader know about me and my personality/ interests?

The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University, and these concepts are reflected in my life. Although Artes and Mores are values that are important to me, Vires represents the principles that have been guiding and encouraging me throughout my life. Looking on my past achievements and academic rigor, it is clear that I represent moral, physical, and intellectual strength.

My moral strength has a lot to do with my upbringing; as a child, I was taught to differentiate right from wrong, and the concept has never left me. Since I am becoming more mature and moving into a greater chapter of my life, it is important that I learn to make good choices for myself. I am learning that the decisions I make now can impact my life forever, as well as the lives of those around me.

We are only given one body, so it is important that we take care of it, and remain healthy and in shape. With that in mind, although it would be simple for me to not care at all, I make a conscious effort to work out multiple times a week. Since I am an athlete and I plan to continue cheerleading at Florida State University, I need to make sure that I am as physically healthy as I can be, in order to be considered in such a competitive sport.

Because I know I have a high level of intellectual strength, I will never allow myself to settle for less than the best that I have to offer. Throughout high school, I often chose the courses that offered higher levels of rigor, and participated in programs that would better prepare me to continue to gain a college education.

Thus, like Florida State University, "Vires, Artes, Mores" are my guiding philosophies, and above all, I demonstrate moral, physical, and intellectual strength in all aspects of my life.

student123 4 / 13  
Nov 24, 2010   #2
Elaborate more, tell a personal story about deciding right from wrong, on why cheering at FSU is important, and why academics are important.

In this essay they aren't only looking for how well you can write, they want to know how you will enrich there campus. My biggest suggestion is to make it more personal. College essay readers like detail and the more detail you have the better understanding of you they will get.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Dec 5, 2010   #3
The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University, and these concepts are reflected in my life. wasted sentence

Although Artes and Mores are values that are important to me, Vires represents the principles that have been guiding and encouraging me throughout my life.---here, now this is the good sentence to start the essay! :-)

Looking on my past achievements and academic rigor, it is clear that I represent moral, physical, and intellectual strength. wasted sentence

My moral strength has a lot to do with my upbringing; as a child, I was taught to differentiate right from wrong, and the concept has never left me.

I'm not criticizing your writing when I put the line through the sentences. It's the sentences... they are the culprits. Don't let any meaningless sentences sneak into the essay.

Okay, so here is the stuff that is worth something:
Although Artes and Mores are values that are important to me, Vires represents the principles that have been guiding and encouraging me throughout my life. Since I am becoming more mature and moving into a greater chapter of my life, it is important that I learn to make good choices for myself. I am learning that the decisions I make now can impact my life forever, as well as the lives of those around me.

We are only given one body, so it is important that we take...

Because I know I have a high level of intellectual strength, I will never allow myself to settle for less than the best that I have to offer.----If you really mean this, I think you would be mentioning something about some goals you have... this world needs a lot of help. What will you do?

:-)


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