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" Vires, Artes, Mores" -FSU topic


ionutalbu25 3 / 10  
Sep 5, 2009   #1
Reflecting back on my childhood years I realize that a major part of my life was represented by Mores. It was at the age of six when I found myself with tears in my eyes sitting in the uncomfortable chair of a Tarom Airlines plane on an International flight from Timisoara, Romania to Atlanta, Georgia. Many people may feel that at that age I was too young to comprehend what was taking place but I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember sitting in that chair having continuous thoughts about what this "new world" will be like and if I will ever see my friends and extended family again. I remember the plane's engines roaring and the plane lifting off while I looked out the window shocked that I was leaving my life behind. It was only later when I realized that my parents made the decision to immigrate to the United States so our immediate family can continue to search for new and better opportunities.

Although my family traveled approximately four thousand miles to Venice, Florida we were able to keep a clasp on most Romanian customs and traditions while we discovered the opportunities we were searching for. Many outside influences threatened my family's traditions but it seems as if they are dearer to us now than ever before. The smell of sarmale, the Romanian national dish, still circulates through our house every Christmas and Easter. The lyrics and melodies of manele still come out of my dad's stereo speakers every day. But most important to me, everyone in my family is still extremely close to each other as is practical to most families in Romania. This different "Romanian" lifestyle that my family lives makes me completely aware that mores has been one of the main guiding philosophies behind my life.

My family was given the chance of a lifetime to come to the United States of America and this is why I feel that vires signifies me. This chance has opened many doors for me and I always push myself to the best of my ability to make something out of every provided opportunity. The educational system in America gives every student the option to succeed and I took complete advantage of it. This is where vires has had the greatest significance in my life. Although I had to balance my school work, extracurricular activities, and job at the same time, school always came first. No matter how long a homework assignment would be I made sure to put effort in it with the perception that just one homework assignment might affect my whole life.

At FSU I would not only bring my cultural diversity and academic strengths but also my love for music. Having a father who plays the accordion and keyboard really influenced me to have a passion for music. This passion to artes led me to start playing the saxophone and piano which I have played for about ten years now.

ANY HELP WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.
OP ionutalbu25 3 / 10  
Sep 6, 2009   #2
Thanks for the advice llama. So do you think I should remove the third paragraph or incorporate it so that the flow in the essay is better?
Llamapoop123 7 / 442  
Sep 6, 2009   #3
Either give an example in your third paragraph in order to expand your ideas or take it out so that you can expand your more important second paragraph.

Edit: At least take out the last paragraph or expand it because it is not a conclusion. You need a conclusion but do not end it with a summary of Vires, Artes, and Mores.


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