The prompt: The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
Any suggestions? Does my essay fit the prompt?
Thanks so much-Claudia
Throughout my life I have been faced with an unprecedented number of barriers both extreme and minute. It is because of these obstacles that I have become the invincible individual I am today. After every challenge I have met and overcome there is no force in the world that could stop me now.
As a student of Hispanic roots, very little has been expected from me from the start. I was never expected to excel in school, win awards, perform on stage in front of hundreds, participate in a theater camp on the Florida State University campus-for free, or even graduate from high school in the top 9% of my class. However, I refuse to meet those expectations or any others that may question my potential.
The definition of strength is not a universal one and I think it to be something very personal. To me, strength is growing in your field of choice and in turn as a person despite everyone's desire for you to fail. I found my strength in the 7th grade as I searched for a place to belong. When I walked in to that Drama class, every word I said, whether written or spoken, was appreciated. It was like becoming part of a circle of trust; these people will never judge me.
I came to Miami Beach Senior High my sophomore year and to my astonishment, there was no theater available. All the other sophomores had gone through freshman pains together; they were a family. My entire year was spent scheming on how to bring the love for theater that was so common in my previous schools to this school of skeptics that weren't even aware that their school had a stage. My junior year, to my satisfaction, the school hired a new acting teacher. Together, Ms. Pauline Lakanen and I brought theater back from the dead at Miami Beach Senior High. At first I was ridiculed for my incessant desire to perform but soon I was able to take all of Beach High and drown them in a pool of culture and have them willingly sit through an hour long play about the Jewish struggle. Through all the stares and whispers, I kept my ardor for theater in mind.
Through the arts and my unceasing passion for growing, I have become invulnerable. Once an alien to society, I now form part of a community that accepts me and praises my talents. I have gone from being the social outcast, the kid that was always bullied around for having a strange accent, to the young woman that stands up on stage and tells a story through her words and actions in front of hundreds. By chasing my ultimate dream to create art on stage, I have become mentally immune to the insults that may come my way. By believing in myself and the beauty of the art that is performing, I have furnished myself with the ultimate weapon that will last me a lifetime-strength.
After every challenge I have met and overcome there is no force in the world that could stop me now.
After every challenge I have met and overcome, there is no force in the world that can stop me.
My junior year, to my satisfaction, the school hired a new acting teacher.
During my junior year, to my satisfaction, the school hired a new acting teacher. (what is an acting teacher?)
You ought to include the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" in your essay, even though you might think that you have already described them.
Mark
Throughout my life I have been faced with an unprecedented number of barriers both extreme and minute.---it's a little presumptuous to say unprecedented, as though no other person experienced such adversity.
It is because of these obstacles that I have become the invincible individual I am today. ---cool sentence!!
As a student of Hispanic roots, very little has been expected from me from the start. you can't say your heritage caused you to not be expected to excel. That is an oversimplification. What really caused people to have low expectations? Who are the people whose expectations were low?
... refuse to meet those expectations or any others that may question my potential.----another great sentence!
I now form part of a community that accepts me and praises my talents. ---- You have some really great sentences...
I just hope you will get specific at the end and write about the virtue and the role it will play in the near future for you.
:-)
