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Visas to America - obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life


vanngoc3598 1 / -  
Aug 12, 2015   #1
Can someone please give me some advise on this essay? anything I could improved on?

I was only ten years old then living in a small village in Vietnam, when my dad excitedly announced that we got called in for an interview which could possibly send us to America, to "live the American dream". Months later, news got back to us that our family had been given Visas to move to America.

Arriving to American, I was strangely excited to start learning the language and the custom of our new lives. Little did I know, the language barrier made it extremely difficult for me to adapt, and I started to shy away from everybody. This obstacle has been the most challenging in my personal life, in which I've learned to overcome by opening myself up. When people starts to talk to me, I would listen to the words carefully; these words would resonates with me and slowly overtime I noticed myself using the word with my classmates. To further my skills in this second language, I would read bedtime stories to my family to teach all of us the simple communicating words.

Two years later, I was able to speak the language well enough to make a lot of close friends. These close friends of mine is a living proof that I've overcome my obstacle of learning a new language. I currently take mostly honors and advanced placement English classes, and English now feels like a native language to me.
Malihong 1 / 1  
Aug 12, 2015   #2
When my dad excitedly announced that we got call in for an interview which could possibly send us to America, to "live the American dream". I was only ten years old , living in a small village in Vietnam. Months later, news got back to us and our family had been given Visas to move to America.

not my mothertone,correct me if i am wrong,:)
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 18, 2015   #3
- Arriving to American ,
-...words carefully;, ( be careful of your punctuation marks, this is minor remarks but its better to avoid them) these
- words would resonates with me and
- slowly overtime I noticed myself using the word with my classmates.

Congratulations Van, there's no surprise that you will be able to overcome such obstacle, all it takes is perseverance and determination towards your goals. Never give up and always be positive. Learning a second language can be very tough however, for a determined one like you, there's a lot more to learn and never give up. Keep learning.


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