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I visited the university campus - Cornell College of Arts and Sciences Supplement


jennifermb 1 / -  
Dec 15, 2009   #1
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Cornell University: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (max 500 words)

When I was eight years old, I told my mother that I wanted to be a veterinarian. Being the go-getter that my mother is, she immediately called a friend of hers whose husband happened to be a vet. Dr. Bulavus happily agreed to let me come to his office and help out with the pets. However, after I had cheerfully cleaned, petted, and played with the animals for a few hours, Dr. Bulavus decided to show me something he deemed "really cool:" a large black lab being spayed. At that time, I had never seen a gory, R-rated movie and was in no way prepared to see the insides of an unconscious Labrador removed a few feet away from me. I watched from the doorway, trying to pass off the shaking of my legs as general eight-year-old leg tapping, but it was no use. I collapsed.

Strangely enough, this unpleasant event sparked my interest in medicine and human behavior.

During my junior year of high school, I became particularly interested in psychology. Learning about the subject in my Advanced Placement class and through the psychology books I began reading in my spare time affected everything I did - I suddenly wondered what underlying conditions characters in my favorite novels could be suffering from, what phenomena were occurring when group decisions were made in Junior ROTC - basically, what makes people do what they do. The change in thinking made me even more excited about learning new things.

I want to study at Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences because, when I visited the university campus, I felt that the college represents all of the things I find important: a passion for discovery; delving deeply into important issues like race, culture, and art; and constantly changing the "film" you see the world through. My goals include becoming a physician in the U.S. Air Force. My fascination with psychology, coupled with my keen interest in medicine and biology, led me to the biopsychology concentration offered by the College of Arts and Sciences. "Social Neuroscience" and "Trauma and Treatment" are two of the many classes that spark my interest. I believe the Cornell University motto says it all: Cornell allows a variety of students to explore a variety of subjects. The diversity of this kind of liberal arts education produced by this approach draws me to the university.

I believe Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences and I are a perfect match. I have broad interests that I would be able to explore while in the college. I yearn to be surrounded by people who, like me, are excited about learning and life. My ambition is to gain education and experiences while being able to call Cornell University my home.

Since the catastrophe of my eight-year-old internship, I have taken multiple Biology and Anatomy classes with dissections and am proud to say that I have never again felt the least bit faint.

490/500
linmark 2 / 328 7  
Dec 16, 2009   #2
Fun essay!! I can understand why you don't want to be a vet for the air force :)

I see that you first talk about how your interest in medicine started (with your vet experience as an 8 year old,) and then how you became interested in psychology as a junior. You might want to mention why it's no longer medicine for animals. Also, your sentences run on very long in the second paragraph: "Learning about the subject in my Advanced Placement class ..."

The last two paragraphs could be better organized eg. your goals vs. why cornell liberal arts. There is some duplication here:

GOOD luck!
smileypeace 2 / 11  
Dec 17, 2009   #3
"to gain education and experiences..."

I think the phrasing about gain education is a bit awkward. Perhaps the line could read:

"to attain/gain both a worthwhile education and experience(s)"
sephroph201 1 / 2  
Dec 31, 2009   #4
I began reading in my spare time and it affected everything I did
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 12, 2010   #5
I watched from the doorway, trying to pass off the shaking of my legs as general eight-year-old leg tapping, but it was no use. I collapsed.

Why did she do it! Wow.. sounds like she did not want you to be a vet.

I see that this is a really interesting process you went through!

Ha ha, I love it---the catastrophe of my eight-year-old internship... you are great.

I have taken multiple Biology and Anatomy classes involving dissections and am proud to say that I have never again felt the least bit faint.

Nice job...
poisonivy 14 / 102  
Jan 12, 2010   #6
Since the catastrophe of my eight-year-old internship

- hmmm...this looks like your internship is 8 years old, not like you were that age. Of course, it is logical that the "8 year old" defines you, though I believe that grammatically it is not correct. Try rephrasing it.

I truly enjoyed this essay. It flows well, it is interesting and fun, and the most important, it addresses the prompt really well. Great job!

I'd appreciate if you helped me with mine. Thanks :)


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