Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

My Volunteer Experience ; feeding the hungry at a church /Common App


Elizabeth934 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2012   #1
Hey, this is the essay I am considering using for my Common App. I am supposed to "briefly elaborate on one of my extracurricular activities or work experiences." My response can be no longer than 1000 characters. The activity I chose was my volunteer service feeding the hungry at a church. Here it is:

For as long as I can remember, I have been passionate about helping people. Any opportunity to perform an act of kindness, be it large or small, thrilled me. From lending pencils to classmates in need to babysitting for my sister to doing community service, I enjoyed it all. Needless to say, of the many goals I have for my life, among the most important is my desire to provide help to those in need through my commitment to service. As a high school student, I was able to gain experience for this by volunteering at the Emanuel Baptist Church Feed the Hungry Program. I participated in this program every Wednesday for three summers. During this time I assisted in preparing meels, setting tables, and greeting people at the door. Each Wednesday, there would come a time when everyone was sitting down eating and all the volunteers knew that no one else would come in for a while. Looking back, this part of our meal resembled a communion between us during which I was humbled. I realized that we are all humans who are reflections of the human condition regardless of our socioeconomic backgrounds. In essence, I realized something I already knew subconsciously: every individual is equally deserving of help in his or her time of need and that it could easily be me in dire need. It is this realization based on my experience feeding the hungry that has confirmed my plan to one day become a volunteer on a larger scale.

What do you think? Does it seem like an honest reflection of me (if that makes sense seeing that you don't know me)? I guess what I'm asking is: Is it genuine enough? Does it seem too... superficial? Thanks for reading!
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 15, 2012   #2
Any opportunity to perform an act of kindness, be it large or small, thrilled me.

You are a good guy! :) Good start :)

I was able to gain experience for this by volunteering at the Emanuel Baptist Church Feed the Hungry Program.

I volunteered at the Emanuel Baptist Church Feed the Hungry Program.

During this time I assisted in preparing meels, setting tables, and greeting people at the door.

...."During this time" - no need to say because it's implied.

Each Wednesday, there would come a time when everyone was sitting down eating and all the volunteers knew that no one else would come in for a while.

I dont get your ideas in the highlighted part :(
zdv 12 / 68 2  
Dec 15, 2012   #3
i think it is very genuine. i like your writing and it conveys the emotions you have. very well for an extra-curricular essay.


Home / Undergraduate / My Volunteer Experience ; feeding the hungry at a church /Common App